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I, the Atmosphere of Unknown

 

 

I, the Atmosphere of unknown,

surround this earth potently.

Absorbing your physical presence,

and soulful yearnings.

Oxygen energies and carbon toxins.

 

Exhales of laborous release,

are your scented gifts to me.

Uplifting each present hope and dis-ease.

Bold actions reflecting,

both breath-less and faith-less actions and deeds.

 

Consequences or tested theory.

Breathe deep or suffocate silently.

Unable are you to with-hold from me.

I am the essence of what you cast.

 

Green or clearing house,

no favor is given and none asked.

For I only reflect your present condition.

A forecast of beliefs, customs and traditions.

 

It is my eyes that see you extend with might.

Reaching through the midst of earthly trials.

Eager lungs hopeful for clear soulful breath,

despite risk and fearful con-sequences.

The rewards of accomplishment, success, full bank accounts.

 

Accountability and Responsibility,

is each man’s own choosing.

I, the Atmosphere of unknown,

surround this earth potently.

Absorbing your presence,

carbon toxins and oxygen energies.

 

Each breathless action and faithless of deeds,

I release back unto you with great magnitude and degree.

Breathe deep or suffocate silently,

it is your destiny to extend mightily,

I pray you choose wisely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

2nd stab at it: Contest prompt:
Loose yourself into Largeness
I'd like you to become the Universe, the Earth and or something from the largeness of nature physically and or spiritually. Please speak for it, adopting the being of the subject you have taken on.

I chose the Atmosphere that surrounds our earth,
each of us casting our life's breath, cause and reactions.

A contest entry

Please don't be shy to comment...it's how we grow poetically!

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    July 8, 2008

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    I read:

    Earth's atmosphere, being impressionable by what we do, in a way never so evidently presented as at this time in our history.
    Your poem reads as both an expression of gratitude and also a vote of sympathy for it.
    You point at our interconnectedness and dependence upon it and also much talk about the topicality of its subject. Yet in general it seems still, that 'mankind's world' continues in its industrious obliviousness to the issue.

    I hear you praise the qualities of no less than this gift of life, given to us into our safe-keeping and also a call for the situation to be recognised as such.

    It's a great and worthy issue to have expressed, I wouldn't take anything away from that. Still, I feel you have taken your thoughts and spoken them into the subject whereas I wanted to see you 'become' the subject itself, in this case the nature of the air rather than this subject of thought attached, as such and secondarily associated to it.

    '...
    Absorbing your physical presence,
    and soulful yearnings.

    This is great! I love the connectedness expressed here
    ...
    'no favor is given and none asked.
    For I only reflect your present condition.
    A forecast of beliefs, customs and traditions.'

    Again fantastic recognition of its simply being what it is and yet also so vitally close to us, both physically and spiritually in its meaning.

    I think it's a great write ears, yet still I wanted you to take flight, visit and behave as the air does. In some ways you have but still it is dominated by your conjectured thoughts about it before attempting to 'turn into air' yourself.

    Demanding I know but I will keep pushing for what it is I'm looking for. unless, and I do sympathise, you get fed up with me first.

    Definitely doesn't stop it from being a great write though!

    Thank you so much for it ears

    Sol


  • Rose-Quartz
    July 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    A Very Powerful Poem

    This is a very powerful poem. It is very eloquent and brings home to the reader the destructiveness of mankind on the earth, particuarly in the last few lines. This is really excellent. Thankyou for both writing this and sharing it with me. I hope it does very well in the contest. I wish you All Good Luck. All my very best wishes from Rose xx


  • CountryCousin
    June 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Hmm.

    This is spiritually deep and has great meaning to it. For me right now given what is going on it is a clear message. So therefore I did find it to be beneficial to me sincerely. I will bookmark this because of the depth of thought in this. Truly a masterpiece and one of the great readings of our time.


  • Blue Rew silver member
    June 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Cause and reaction...a potent angle to write from.
    And I must say, well-done in language and form.
    You bring much to the table here, enveloping us
    in the "largeness" of consequence...for I read
    this whole verse and that one word seems to resound
    louder with each stanza, each breath. I did feel
    the double use of "actions" in the second stanza
    caused a disruption of flow. Excellent take on
    the prompt given for there is serious meaning
    found here. Blue

  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    June 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your wonderful entry.

    Good luck with the judging

    Sol

  • Amarige
    June 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think you did changed your entry from before..I like your choice of being the 'atmosphere'...it sound better now with adding the 'I' ..very nice imagery and the picture is so lovely..best of luck in the contest ears
    Ruby


  • Lucy.
    June 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Some powerful words here! Good luck in the contest.


  • Swangrnv gold member
    June 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    And such a powerful..

    .. account of the unknown. This piece feels large in it's presentation and concept, really the only reaction I can muster is WOW!

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