At first it was just a wood,
much like a house is just a house.
Or a parchment is just a parchment.
However, as time's measures grew longer
and the woods grew rapidly,
something dwelling deep within
came to arise and be.
I'd like to call it evil,
or sinister at best.
Such words cannot describe
that magnitude of the horror of
whatever came to be
deep within Hearth Woods.
Not even the bravest soul
dare to venture forth,
for even the greatest treasure.
"Lock the doors! Shut the windows!
Tuck the little in bed!"
The cries of the night,
to keep all safe
as night time fell again.
Much noise heard outside,
followed by unsettling silence.
Someone was taken...
Pray it was an animal.
Awake in the morn...
Pretty little Genna Blue
gone as gone could be.
On the ground, white as eggshells,
lie Ms. Sara Blue, covered up none
face down in her own blood.
We did the best we could for her,
buried her nice and what not.
We all wanted to find her daughter,
and take good care of her like good folks.
Everyone knew where she was;
down in old Hearth Woods.
Pretty little Genna, sweetest girl you ever did see.
All the boys wanted her hand,
but you know what?
Not one would go and fetch her.
Pretty little Genna Blue,
left in Hearth Woods...
My my my...
What's one to do?
Author notes
Hearth Woods-> A fictional name I thought up from no where.
The bad grammar in this was intentional. This is set in older times, in a poor town.
I believe the rest explains itself. Any thoughts on improvement? I'd love them. I will continue the story soon hopefully. This was just something I wanted to try.
Comment honestly please. But don't be rude. CONSTRUCTIVE CRISTISM is welcome. But don't bash me; I work hard.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Nicely done
First, it's an intriguing tale that engrosses the reader, or at least it did me...And the answer is "No!" I'm not going into those woods to fetch poor Genna Blue!
The tone did read as small town life from a few generations back.
I do have a suggestion for line four. Maybe I read it wrong but I think it would benefit from making "time" the possessive "time's stretches." Though you don't really need "stretches" because time it self suggests that span. But that was just a thought I had.
I enjoyed the tale, the mood of your poem was good, it lent to that mysterious feeling you undoubtedly were after.
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Thank you.
Aw. Poor Genna. Left all alone. Shame shame.
I like the idea. I'm probably going to do some editing on this soon enough before I start into the second part.
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I like the story a lot. This reminds me almost of prose, and the story makes me think of a fantasy novel.
Very good write,
Cadence <3
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Thanks. Yeah, I kind of meant it to be like that. Part two will hopefully be up before the week it out.
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Hmmm...I like it. Very different, very interesting...good! I like it a lot! :]
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Thanks. Part two will be up before the week it out. And I will probably fix this one as well. Glad you like it.
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