My thoughts design a truly messed up place
And there, I feel ashamed to say, is you;
You're in my head, my thoughts' lost space,
You are the only lie I made up to be true.
You are my lie, my sin, my guilty pleasure,
And I lied so much I actually now believe;
I believe in you, I turn to you for leisure,
You are my mind's invention, but honey...I'm naive!
I swore I'll bring you out someday,
I swore I'll play a song for you!
And, dear, there's nothing that I wouldn't play,
If only, sweetheart, you were true...
But you are not, and I'm ashamed
Both of the truth, and my imagination,
Because the truth is sad, and so you stay unnamed,
Because you, love, were only...
My creation.
Author notes
This is definitely something that's been haunting my head for quite a few days, and I thank you for bringing it up in a contest, so I could get it out! I hope you enjoyed my take on the prompt, because I surely feel better now, after writing it all down
A contest entry
- How bad do you feel for your thoughts? by Blossom.
330 points, ended July 18, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1708 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Welcome ladies and Gents by RawrSmileBabyPlz.
450 points, ended July 11, 2008, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I tried something new. How do you feel about it?
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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this is sad but such a good read, the lies, the truth, the dilemma of facing the truth...so good
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i like the idea of truth and lies being of opposition but somehow have linked themselves together through this one specific person. I can say that I know that feeling of what dreams, imaginations can invent for you to wake and never physically see even when you can see them perfectly behind closed lids. this has good sound and a great voice of permitting this invisible person to come to you. great write. thanks for the submisssion.
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Good Write
this is a very good write with many questions. The feeling are good in it and show so much
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Loved it
Great this is a wonderful piece. Thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck.
Shelly -
I really enjoyed this
Very good
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For some reason, I think of Frankenstein...whatever.
Either way, I really loved it. It's good you were able to get it all out on "paper" so we can all enjoy it. It was a pleasure to read your work and I hope I can read more of it in the future!
Sincerely,
ModernXTimes -
Very Good
Desiring of perfect love. -
Wow this is great!! Its really well written and shows a lot of emotions!! I love it all and i can relate, its a good way to get your feelings out!!! Great job, and keep writing!! Good luck in the contests! =)
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I can relate to this, a lot.
And I think you picked a great contest to be in to just let it all out, seriously.
My favorite stanza is definitely the second one because I can understand it the best. It's amazing how someone can be so dependent on another. For everything. I know how it goes.
You have such a beautiful write and you just let everything out. That 'a way.
This poem described what I'm feeling at the moment, and maybe that's why I like it so much. I love things that I can relate to.
I wish you the best in the contest.
Sincerely,
dovey ~
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Thank you so much for your wonderful comment - I am glad you can relate. And yes, I think that contests are a great way of letting your feelings out - I, for one, only write new pieces when I really, really feel that the contest inspires me. And this one...definately did!
Thanks again!
~Masky
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5 stars
wow
This is simply amazing
And it's kind of the way that I'm feeling at the moment so it could not have been better timing that I stumbled across this!
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The timing is 50% of the final impression by the time you're done reading a poem!! I am glad it could ring to you, and that you liked it - thank you!
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Nicely done! this came out great!!! Good luck in the contest!
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Thank you a lot!
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This was a really good poem I really like it very much so. It is something that all of us could of done with our minds make up the perfect lover at least this is what I get from this piece. Thank you for sharing with us
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Thank you for your lovely comment
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OMG I LOVE THIS, its soooooo well written. Makes you think if you were having an affair with your imaginary girl or if you were just lonely, LMAO. This is some great stuff. I love, love, love it.
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LOL, you're right. But no, I'm just lonely and picturing the perfect guy ^_^
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aaw thats sad .. tho a gr8 piece !!
i guess everyone at some point can relate to this ..
as i think thats wut loneliness and disappointing in frds do to us ..
good thing u let it out!
thank u for sharin
me
xxx
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Thank you for commenting and understanding
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Well done.. I must say that this is a wonderfully written piece.. the expression within your words I know many will be able to relate to.. The imagery was very vivid and the flow smooth, wonderfully done.. The thought of a soul mate or true friend is within everyones mind though I believe it is the strongest in the heart of the poet.. Bravo!
Thank you very much for sharing this with us..
Best of luck..
Angel
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Thank you for your lovely comment! I much appreciate it ^_^
~Masky
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awesome.
yeah. I kind of let something out through a poem like this. and that's where I got the idea for the contest. it made me wonder what other people have hiding inside of their self. great poem. My favorite is the last line. It's just so wow, if that makes any sense to you. haha. well thanks for entering I'm glad you could vent through with this one. Much love. -
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Thank you so much It does make sense to me, I guess, but this was my first poem that I haven't started writing from the last line to the beginning - I suppose I'll do that more from now on
*hugs*
~masky
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A fantastic take on the prompt! I think there are many of us who have that idea of an ideal friend or soul mate. Poets have a tendency to take these flights of fancy a step further than most. Good imagery and flow. The last line, perfection. I also especially like the first line, starts your poem on an ironic and self aware twist. Best wishes, I may have to enter this one myself. I, also, need that release of penning it on paper.
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Thank you, thank you loads!! I'm glad to see I'm not the only one out there, hahaha...I truly hope you enter, and I look forward to reading your version of the prompt - this looks like a very promising contest!
Cheers!!
~Masky
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