The rhythum in my mind
twirls my thoughts around
fast beating of the drums
Is a most emphatic sound
as I sway my hips
keeps tempo with the tune
and the dance floor whispers to the song,
"I want to dance with you."
The energy forthcoming
Is waltzing through my feet
a tango interrupts
as the orchestra keeps beat
I twist and shout with pony time
and mash the open floor
tonight I don't need to drink
just give me music galore
Author notes
Dance~~~
A contest entry
- "Dancing is a sweat job"(Fred Astaire) by Daizy21.
600 points, ended July 7, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPTIONS I- GOLD - SILVER - BRONZE FOR EACH by Florida Sunshine.
475 points, ended August 16, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1011 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you Think???
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Ha, this was great - sounds like the music really took over your body!
One small correction,
"The rhythum in my mind" <-- rhythm
Thanks for entering! -
This poem i great. You've go ta good dance beet going on and that beat is kept strong. I love dance poems because they are great for movement (literature movement) and this poem utalised movement wonderfully.
Great job
cassie
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What an pure enjoyable poem. The imagery is off the chart, and the rhythm of the read is smooth and gliding. ~ I felt as if I was right there with you.
Beautiful - Thanks so much for entering the options contest it was my pleasure to read your work. I hope you enjoyed the options and my review.
Best of luck to you,
Florida Sunshinte
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A delightful (and rhythmic) description of what it means to dance--lovely work.
Bill
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This was truely a fantastic expression of emotion that someone feels during a mind blowing dance!
Thank you so much for entering!Good Luck! -
Fabulous
I like this its very creative -
now this is s much fun to read, and sounds quite enjoyable,
great write and good luck
just love the free feeling potrayed here
take care
stephanie
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Aww Loved it!
This was a adorable write actually had me smiling i could see us tapping our foot to music!
The rhythm in my mind
Twirls my thoughts around
The beating of the drums
Is a most emphatic sound
The swaying of my hips
"and there is nothing better than a womans hips swaying to her own tune!" just my thoughts..
Loved it!
thanks for entering
~Lisa~
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KEEP ON DANCING.
TO PICK A LINE,
WOW, ALL OF THEM.
SO PROUD SIS
GREAT RHYME
GREAT FLOW
GREAT GOD THIS IS GOOD.
GOD BLESS...
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I twist and shout with pony time
And mash the open floor
Tonight I don't need to drink
Just give me music galore
~ sounds like someone's having fun! an enjoyable read
tim
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really, really good point. excellent rythem. it reflects the beat of the music. well structured and descriptive. i love the rhyming structure as well. 10/10
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Thanks for the bunnies,
Usually, along with a curse, comes a blessing, I bless you with a great day and a wonderful life, my friend!!!
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