as beaches beckon,
sand dusted memories
congregate in coolers
beside frothy paperbacks;
delightful detritus
on paths to ivy covered walls.
Author notes
September is the warmest month of the year in my area of the world, and summer vacation passes much too quickly.
A contest entry
- #97 20 words; 20 entries; Winklings only, by Lavender Butterfly. by Lyndon.
1500 points, ended July 23, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How do you think I could improve this poem?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Oh I like this! As someone who loves reading (and writing) on the beach I identify with this and I love the line " sand dusted memories " Well done. congratulations!
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I am from the Southern Hemisphere. However, September is the cooler part of spring for me. I shall not try to imagine if you live in a desert or what but simple accept the interpretation you have taken.
However, you have asserted the nexus September provides in your own way very well.
I must say that I agree with Frans' excellent critique!
Lyndon of the Winklings.
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Ooh, you went in a different direction with this and I LOVED IT. How it all was - the beach, the lazy paperback, the dusted memories... Without September. Nicely done with brevity. Oh I do like this one very much. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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September has always been a bridge to fond memories Reading this has stirred a few of my own I enjoy reading this one
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Amazing.
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I enjoyed
this brief and descriptive poem. The use of wording such as 'beckoning' and relating this to the 'beach' as well as to the 'ivy covered wall' - although two different 'places' both provide beauty. The 'path' brings another thought: depending on which side you enter this path, the one leads to the 'beach' with its place of relaxing and from the otherside, the place of 'work' to tidy up the fallen leaves etc. , but then, the 'detritus' can be a rucrring reminder of the 'backlog' of what still needs to be completed, and the knowing that time is running out. I can see the reading and beer-drinking taking place - the reading of paperbacks one does not often get time for. Oh, I could just go on and on and on. Best in the competition. Frans
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deeply descriptive and immensely detailed... x
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I like the feel that is evoked by this poem. Very nice and quite different from those of us who see Winter coming soon when September arrives. Good luck in the contest. ~ Joyce
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