Eternity is the name that was given to me
By gods that I’ve never worshiped before
The pain of my heart unbeating is what they decree
As my penitence for the words I chose to ignore
The serpent of solitude is all I have to keep
As I watch this world die before my burning eyes
And the blood in me is so weak it is what I weep
Under tombstones of the last beautiful and wise
I’ve danced on the bones of those who had no regret
Their commandments of love have made me never forget
How I’ve sinned without reason and taken my soul in vain
The devil worships my heart for he knows of my pain
I surrender to the torment of this half and cursed breath
I surrender to the agony to the horror without the death
This flesh is tired and about to turn to ash under the skin
But the skin is worn like a stone against dark rivers
My spirit was raped from me long ago while within
The sepulchre branded my heart grows with the hurt it delivers
Angels sing so far away I crawl to hear their song
Yet no tears are shed as I fail and curse god’s name
For they know in the end I will remain strong
But without sorrow no one can win this immortal game
I’ve danced on the bones of those who had no regret
Their commandments of love have made me never forget
How I’ve sinned without reason and taken my soul in vain
The devil worships my heart for he knows of my pain
I surrender to the torment of this half and cursed breath
I surrender to the agony to the horror without the death
I once loved a man but his kiss now cuts my cheek
His name was Lucifer and he created an unholy empire for me
But compared to his kingdom I was small and weak
And to feel his touch for one last night is my final plea
I’ve danced on the bones of those who had no regret
Their commandments of love have made me never forget
How I’ve sinned without reason and taken my soul in vain
The devil worships my heart for he knows of my pain
I surrender to the torment of this half and cursed breath
I surrender to the agony to the horror without the death
Author notes
Dedicated to Pete
This world is cruel and has long the word peace in legend, but forever we will show them what love truly means.
i am wonderful
lady nightshade
A contest entry
- Darkwrite Extravaganza Season II, Round III by Immortal Obscurity.
700 points, ended June 18, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark As You Want It......... by GypsyEyes.
525 points, ended June 17, 2008, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark beauty by Maili Knephthan.
600 points, ended July 2, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkest hour darkest day by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended May 25, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - That was you? Omg I'm sorry ( For Everyone :] ) by RawrSmileBabyPlz.
450 points, ended June 24, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - your personal best by indomitable.
600 points, ended July 7, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heavy Metal by Grave-Digger.
500 points, ended July 16, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Songwriting by Apocalyptic Scarves.
600 points, ended August 22, 2008, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1666 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pain..... by XcupcakesX.
600 points, ended August 26, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Write Appreciation Day 2008 by Kimojuno.
1447 points, ended October 8, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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The poem, although long, shows the point you are trying to make. I thank you for your entry.
Jeff. -
wow this is really good. Nice write.
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Verry good piece here
Written with such deep feelings and spaced just right . Good luck in the contest
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third line, degree should be decree.
other than that this is stunning. i love it. it reads like a song, and the rhyming is unforced and doesnt interrupt flow. its nearly vampiric, which i sort of like and dont. oh but its good, dark and delicious and filled with vibrant imagery and emotion. very nice, thank you.
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amazing
Wow this is very good. very well written i like it alot. Thanks for entering my contest. I wish you the best of luck.
..<3..
Shelly
For You
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hmmm kinda boring not what I was lookin for sorry but its not bad either
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hey, congrats on silver!!!
i really loved this poem
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Thank you for the entry and you need to follow the rules and put "I am wonderful" in the AN. This was a very well written poem I really liked it almost sounded like a song. Thank you for sharing and Good luck in my contest
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I entered the dark as you want it contest. This being my first contest at all poetry and writing in general. I decided to read some of the other entries. Yours was by far one of the best. My favorite part was
“The serpent of solitude is all I have to keep
As I watch this world die before my burning eyes
And the blood in me is so weak it is what I weep
Under tombstones of the last beautiful and wise”
Me being a new writer a line like “world die before my burning eye” is wonderfully detailed. I’m certainly going to look more in to your work. And if you get some time maybe you can give me your opinion on some of mine. If your interest is in dark poems then there are plenty of pieces in my list to fill your plate.
ALEX
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torment of this half and cursed breath
love that line! great write! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox -
i like it more the second time around...
"I’ve danced on the bones of those who had no regret"...that line really chills my bones
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great flow and rich, dark tone
Good job.
Equus
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The serpent of solitude
I absolutely loved this. I think your entry is cream of the crop right now....wwell done and good luck
**Ktulu Blackwolfe**
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Wow... Seriously, you weren't lying when you said you were a love-metal writer. I reread it again, while listening to "Venus In Our Blood", and I could practically hear our boy Ville singing it. You have done the picture some serious justice, even more than I thought you would. Well done, and good luck!
Laura x
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This is so beautifully morbid, I loved the flow and the rhyme, truly spectacular work
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bravo!
wow, this is really good!
love the rhyme and stanza repetition,
it works AMAZINGLY well with the picture
you've done a superb job!!!!
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Wow, that was dark as fuck to. I must admit I can see where the other people who've commented this are coming from, it dose fit the picture pretty well. I really like the story of the girl in the picture you portray in this to. It's really, really imaginative. I couldn't have though of all that lol
I love you sooo much
xxx
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This is beautfiul! Goes perfectly with the picture prompt...Well done and good luck!
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This is great. I love how everything just flows together.
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Wow. That was phenomenal! On most occasions I do not like rhyme, but you did a great job with this! In fact, this makes the thought of rhyming enter my mind once again as a friend rather than an enemy! I love the word choice, and the rhythm was perfect and right on the beat. I don't think there is anything to improve upon, here! Great job!
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