Semantics is a funny thing
when lifting words from speak to sing
i say its this and you hear that
but a dog can never be a cat
I think you know just what i mean
presumptuous messages unseen
if you shout duck and i hear rise
an inadvertent word disguise
it all comes down to what you know
if i cry high and you think low
its not a fault in how i speak
sometimes my big words come out meek
so you listen
you ponder
you contemplate the yonder
you consider
you judge
just try not to hold a grudge
Secrets safe within our hearts
the words we mask in puzzle parts
i say love and you hear hate
some dialects dont satiate
its not hidden mystery
why you think five when I say three
its all in how you perceive
directed messages we leave
in times when words do not suffice
gesticulations may entice
careful these can be gray to
the master knows which moves are true
so we interpret
we respond
we grab at meanings left beyond
we seem uncertain
were not sure
if the truth lies in the lure
Author notes
my inspiration is my bf and his talent for hearing some thing different from what i said some times o.o i know thats real exciting hugh (._.) but thats what inspired it
A contest entry
- Give me what you got...2 by Luckintheshadows.
1000 points, ended June 20, 2008, 25 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sparrow Song by Shya.
800 points, ended September 17, 2008, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Baffle me with your words. Enlighten me with your brilliance. by PoetryDove.
600 points, ended July 9, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Twisted Dr suess by Lucian Valcor.
575 points, ended January 10, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
This was interesting to read, I get where you are coming from though. I can say one thing to my husband and he will definitely hear something WAY out there and different.
*points to man below me*
Great poem!
Thanks for entering our contest!
Midnight Raeven -
twisted yes and different also it leaves the reader thinking how are we really taking what every one is saying nice little twist it has the rhyme and the flow thank you for entering the contest'
Lucian" -
Hiya Lizz
When I first read this, I liked it. But as I go through it more thoroughly, it inspires me.
I can't put my finger on it, but this has something that I've never really found in other poetry.
There are so many parts that stand out to me, but this is overall my favorite stanza.
"it all comes down to what you know
if i cry high and you think low
its not a fault in how i speak
sometimes my big words come out meek"
I can relate to this.
So many times I feel like "man...what the hell, doesn't anything I say make sense to you?"
So, on that note, I can relate.
There's not really any suggestions I can give to you since you've already got the amazingness down.
Except for one...
Sometimes the rhyme seems forced. You can fix that easily with just adding or subtracting a couple of words to change the feel/flow of the poem.
That could be done with the 6th stanza.
"its not hidden mystery
why you think five when I say three
its all in how you can perceive
directed messages we leave"
Instead of that you could do it this way...
"It's no hidden mystery
why you think five when I say there
it's all in how you perceive
the directed messages we leave"
But, this is your poem. Keep it how you like it. I'm only giving some criticism
I like how every fourth stanza, the poem completely changes it's flow.
"so you listen
you ponder
you contemplate the yonder
you consider
you judge
just try not to hold a grudge"
I simply love the scheme!
Thanks for entering the contest
Sincerely,
dovey ~
-
-
OMG that totally made it flow better thanxu
-
-
Read the rules. You gotta put something in your Author's notes
I'll make my real comment later! -
This is a wonderful poem!!! I lovedf it! The rhythm, the rhyme, the flow was all done so perfectly. I love all the examples you used of when you're friend heard something incoprrectly. Thanks for entering my contest!!!
-
I personally, think that your reason is a perfect inspiration!!! I thoroughly enjoyed your poem here, it really made me smile.
Your frustration really almost screams out, and I know that, I for one, can definately relate to this!!!!
Thanks for sharing this, and entering my contest,
Luck.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
