Oh God
since long, I am determining as a laborious man
to make you influence that I am proficient for your favors
and for your celestial coalition
and to make you agreeable
I relinquished all that which you may not appreciate
like all my, this and that
also all my, that and this, I evacuated behind
now it is your turn to assimilate me as your child
before I am lured back again with all my, this and all my, that
as I am yet an average man
Oh God...
In a list
A contest entry
- My Muse is an Amateur Photographer - Take a Look by shepherd23.
500 points, ended June 12, 2008, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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This was truly a masterly write. I guess these days, many people spend a lot of time worrying about what they have and not enough about what they were given by the mighty. You truly had a lot to say here that in parts, made me smile. You certainly have a way with words and I am yet to meet an average man. Every soul on this planet is very special, not average, but a piece of the whole universe that hums with us. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful piece and congratulations on the gold trophy. it was well deserved.
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Such a heartfelt plea of surrender to God and for His grace to stay on path. Congratulations on your Gold! Well done,
~Mary O
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Thank you for your kind words..
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Excellent poem showing us not to become a slave to our possessions but to exercise detachment. Liked the last stanza a lot, giving yourself to be defined as a child of God in His hands. Many thanks for this poem - thoughtful and thought provoking.
Congratulations on your gold!
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wonderful piece has such great meaning thanks for sharing this with us....keep up the wonderful writing
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Just lovely-congrats on the Gold-you rock
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Great piece
Very well done , i love this piece it gets me thinking ...thanks for writing it -
How cleverly you set your words down here, from lifes beginning to end we serve whilst we labour we become collective of 'things', those that are not of Him, those that are unnecessary to our becoming proficient to Him. How much more so then should we let go and let live inorder to serve fully? Well worthy off gold, for great lessons to be learnt within.
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a very nice peice. gets yah thinking. great use of repatition. aparent but not redundant. great work
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A very thoughtful and well woven piece of devotion and sincerity. To let go of all the material possessions and surrender all. Lovely write!!!
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Your religious ways have got me thinkning and affecting me so. Insipiring piece of poetry... I always do love reading your work. I find you so humble as you've bowed before God once again.
have a blessed day
-Blanche
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Congratulations on gold.A worthy winner.Cetainly not an average poem but an excellent one.Do have a lovely day doing this and that, Ros
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I think this expresses most of us all. trying to find our way along the path to God's graces..it is wonderful, as is everything I have ever read,of yours.
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Congratulations
Your poem was so lovely and definitly deserved the Gold. What a nice way to start my day reading these beautiful and uplifting words. You have a wonderful weekend. Take care.
Bless You,
Sandy
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Thank You Sandy for your kind words..
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This illustrates well, how we must empty our vessel before our God can fill it with his grace mercy and truth. So true.
The use of "this and that" is very effective here.
Paul
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all my, this and all my, that
that is soooo clever.
powerful inspirational message my friend.
always enjoy
God bless...
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"...I relinquished all that which you may not appreciate
like all my, this and that
also all my, that and this, I evacuated behind ..."
the turn of the words shows very well the longing of this piece. thanks.
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What a great conversation and way to play with words this and that... an awesome and wise used poetical expression.
~Sonja~
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Wonderful Poem
This was wonderful and a great take on the picture. Yes we can be made over in His eyes. All we need do is ask and we shall receive. Such a lovely poem to read this morning. Thank you for sharing this uplifting poem.
Bless You,
Sandy
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This verse spoke volumes to me, myself going through somethings right now.
I so thank you for writing and sharing your amazing God given talent with the world.
and to make you agreeable
I relinquished all that which you may not appreciate
like all my, this and that
also all my, that and this, I evacuated behind
Love,
~Lisa~
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While the language is a bit "off" - it's obvious that English is not your primary - it's beautiful that we share such common feelings and emotions... and you've expressed them in a wonderful write... There is just a note of negotiation with God in this that's so human and brings this into a wonderous light that anyone can relate to... Well done... Most enjoyable...
Ken
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