He was already mumbling to himself as he drew a wide circle in the sand...
"I'll not leave this circle until you give me an answer."
All these visions, they leave me thirsting
for the world my tender heart is bursting
I see the people, how they're suffering
I wish there was some way I could give them solace
what is it that God wants of me?
He doesn't ask. He demands.
He gave us more than ten commandments.
But casting down the tablets, I find they're made of sand.
For forty days I sit in hunger
I'm getting old. My heart is younger.
As devils and dreams come to tempt me
I turn my thoughts within and try to drown them out
I don't like the answers that I find
the signs, the symbols, and the wonder
the world is cruel, my heart is kind
but I can't give that kind of sacrifice
"I've been here long, but nothing comes to me."
Praying for rain, I hear the thunder
but nothing comes and I am left to wonder
the carrion birds start to circle
the lion roars and the jackel laughs at me
the sun, the moon; the twin eyes of God
look down at me but show no mercy
the stars like angels calling
I'm on my knees, how much further can I fall?
Desperation is my master
I've fallen hard, the world is spinning faster
trying to reach for something stable
A loving hand to support my reeling heart
the bread of life is on the table
I drink the wine, spill the blood that is within
what is life without a little salt?
I'll give it all if I have to bear the fault
"Eloi! Eloi! Lama Sabachthani!"
A laughing voice inside the thunder
A small still voice that whispers on the wind
a child's voice, a thief come in the night
a mocking voice; my destiny in red
an easy choice, to live or to be dead
there are no choices, they've all been made for me
a host of choices, each a road to hell
only one choice, to listen or to die
the spirit lives, flesh is nothing
corrupted flesh, of thee I sing
thus spoke the slave to the master
don't set me free, for I have nowhere else to go
a world of fences all around me
do they hem me in, or keep the wolves at bay?
I bow down to all my weakness
thank God for limitations, what else can I say?
"It is finished! I'll now give up the ghost."
A contest entry
- Poems Please by Violet Moodswing.
875 points, ended June 29, 63 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Religion Anyone? by Luckintheshadows.
650 points, ended July 15, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
I can connect to this poem.
-
Congratulations!!!
How creative can you get?!!? WOW - I'm impressed - and so glad you scored a gleeming bronze cup for this awesome poem!!! 
I loved how the tablets turned to sand, that was great!!! 
Write on, Poet!!! Peace, Cyn
-
I think this is a very spirtiual poem. And it is well written. I like the idea of the circle. Good write.
-
This is like vision quest meets Mt Sinai. Sort of an east to west type experiance. It is traditional but not the norm in spiritual experiance. I like the end and the feel of the realization that His strength is made evident in my weakness. Quite the deep write in my oppinion. Reads much like prayer.
thanks for your entry. -
-
Thank you for the bronze! It's always nice to have one's work recognized, especially among so many fine entries.
-
-
This is exactley why we are no good for each other. Here you are exposing your soul and coming to no real resolve. Yes we can recounbt all the players listed and then once we do that we still believe all the choices have been made for us. We are those that really are the living dead. Oh, to be a child with childlike faith once more! So many of your readers don't have the background to inject this into their veins. They only try to disolve it into their saliva and ingest it. You ask why I wonder if this is a good idea. You answered it right here and I came to play. I'll go home wondering why I never get it right? Why the world seems so strange even though I 'know' all the answers. Death be not proud and life be not arrogant. RC
-
Heavy, Oh So Heavy!
The weight of the words are like stones placed upon a board upon my body pressing me down, like the martyrs of old. It's a brilliant piece of work that embodies the desperation that so many people feel in this world today!
-
shiver me timbers
-
Superb
Wow, a most unique write. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine,as usual, my friend. Hope all continues to go well with you. -
As Alan Dugan said,
"what is the balm of a dying life?"
I like
"world of fences all around me
do they hem me in, or keep the wolves at bay?"
I love your penn name girl.
-
Interesting in-depth interpretation of the 40 days wandering in the desert... one click on Google and I had the Hebrew translated (the wonders); I foresee an entire book on poetic interpretations, "Interpretations of the 40 Days"... nice ring to it... must add it to my upcoming "Worthy Pursuits in Life" book... (all the things I'll never get to!) As to the writing- it wavers uncertainly between prose and rhyme, as if it were a transitional piece in a writer's life...
. Rewarded 8
-
Sounds like the lamentations
of a dying man; but so much more here at use...I see Elijah and Jesus, my dying grandfather...a blur of human faces, and then just one - you. This is very deep...I'll have to mull over it for a few days.
-
Oh my, the world leaves the souls of the sensitive bereft....where to turn
-
Great write! I love the emotion you put into the piece. I especially like the line about the fences. "Do they hem me in, or keep the wolves at bay?" It is hard sometimes to tell what is for our protection and what is to keep us from doing what we were meant to do.
. Rewarded 6
-
I give up now!! Sometimes we all reach our own limitations and have to ask God for some help! Hard to do at times, when we think we have it all figured out~ Sie
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
