She came to me—uninvited
And I stared at half of her like I was on a diet
I couldn’t take my eyes off of her this time…
My eyes wondered about her contours’ rhyme
She was lit with a glow
My soul was stirring so—
Air rushed into my lungs (I know)
Why now?
Why was she putting on this show?
Some people say that color doesn’t matter;
But I disagree…
It adds a nice spice called diversity
My eyes were transfixed when she posed at me
A soft, rosy-orange was she
In that dark sky of possibilities
That moon was breath-taking—
Almost ‘peeling-back’ reality…
Author notes
I went out last night and the moon caught my eye. Wow! I couldn't stop looking at it. It felt so 'surreal' - with a 'strange' coloring (almost 'mars-ish...lol). By the way Swan, this about the closest I'll get to romantic pieces I suppose (in public--hahaha).
In a list
A contest entry
- Images of Nature by apoeticinjustice.
900 points, ended February 7, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 51 of 51
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a very beautiful image you create with this piece. The moon often inspires me to write. Very well done.
Rory
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Just lovely...
A romantic interlude with the moon...Mmmmm...you romantic you. lol. So you HAVE been hiding that soft spot and here you allow us a tempting glimse of your poetic view of the moon. Her colour on this night sounds awesome. You made her sound like a beautiful woman, come to intoxicate you with her aura of glowing passion. So great to see a write like this from you...alby
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Ahhhh, that moon was way past breath-taking. Whew! I could look at her until she set (lol). And you're exactly right, her colour stunned me so much; I think I had a frog in my throat. I hoped you would like this; I'm glad to know that I was apparently right with this write. Great to see that you came for the visit...Thank you very much for it...
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This was simply a remarkable piece of writing.
I loved it so much.
Color doesn't matter, It does add a bit of spice.
I love how you made this sound one way, but lead us another. A story about the beauty of the moon. That was outstanding.
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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"Gee-mo-netty!" (lol)...as my father used to say. Thank you very much for this heavy-weight compliment. To know that it impacted you so positively is enough for me. This is an outstanding comment.
"AsIThink"...
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THis was a great write. I know where you're coming from when you cuoldn't help but stare at the moon. I have had many days and nights like that. You never skip a beat and keep everyone on their toes through this piece. THank you.
R.C. -
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And thank you; I really appreciate your feedback on this one. It is a wonderful feeling when someone says/writes/thinks: "I know where you're coming from..." Happy that you could relate (and you're welcome).
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"A soft, rosy-orange was she
In that dark sky of possibilities
That moon was breath-taking—
Almost ‘peeling-back’ reality…"
Such a beautiful piece! The moon can indeed be captivating ... like your words. Sometimes it's hard to look away from her "glow". Truly enjoyed this romantic look at Luna.
If you get a chance, I wrote something with a similar theme http://allpoetry.com/poem/3855899.
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Wow...I'm very honored by your powerful compliments. Whether I deserve them or not, I certainly appreciate them. I love the natural world; that looking into creation with a 'hung' jaw...the feelings mounting inside. Ahhhhhh...I just get captivated. Thank you so much for this visit; this reading was huge blessing for me. (BTW, I click on the link but got an error message. I'll try again. Thank you for the link too...).
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beautiful.
that is all.
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Thank you very much...it was more than enough.
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Ah! Another moon gazer! Nice poem!
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lol...thank you very much (I gazed at her and couldn't stop...hahaha). I appreciate this visit.
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AMAZING!!!!
You are so smooth with your words...I love it...
such a beautiful adoration for the beauty found in the moon...
Bunny
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Thank you so much. I really appreciate your touching comments here. I wish I were always this way; however, we all have those moments when things are (seemingly maybe), perfectly aligned. That moon did it for me that night.
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read it about 3 times and each time got a different idea out of it! Really creative indeed. Especially I love the last verse and the line "In the dark sky of possibilities".
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That's remarkable to me, "...that dark sky of possibilities", there really is so much to see. I am amazed at your feedback. Thank you very much for this wonderful comment. Glad to see how it affected you (wow...).
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a marvelous write with great imagery and keeps the reader thinking it's about one thing, until you get to the last stanza and you realize you were wrong.
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lol...yeah, I kind of thought it would be a surprise. 'Swan' (noted in the ANs AND here on AP ) is my brother who jokes with me from time-to-time about romantic pieces. I did however, feel the wonder of the 'natural world' that night. So, as we like to do: I put it to 'write' (lol). Thanks very much for your fabulous feedback and this visit.
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this is a fine and very creative piece. "peeling back reality" is a particularly worthy line.
(applauds)
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Thanks for this wonderful comment, the visit her and for applauding this work. It was pretty fun to do honestly.
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nice interpretation describing the way you feel about someone...beautiful write, especially liked the way you emphasized the moon with her beauty.
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You are so welcome. This really is about the moon. However, I suppose it could be interpreted in other ways? Your comments are very heartfelt. Thank you so much for the feedback.
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A stunning write, with a stellar ending! I had no idea where this was going...what a marvelous surprise! Definitely a 'show-stopper', and worthy of the spotlight!
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Thank you tons, and tons. Love your warmth and incredible feedback. I'm astonished at the wonderful impact this has had on anyone (let alone the number it has). Thank you again for these great compliments.
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Wow I love this piece I did not even see that ending coming I was so shocked I had to read it twice Wonderful write
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Thanks for this breath-taking comment. I'm more shocked than you by this incredible response. I really appreciate it. I'm glad that you enjoyed it this much.
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Gorgeous...
I love how you explained so eloquently such a profound thing as experiencing for the first time in a while the beauty of nature! Very well done! -
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Thank you so much for this magnificent comment. I really love the natural world...nature stuff. 'Was struck; breathing was almost a task...loved it completely.
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This is a very beautiful poem. A wonderful twist on a romantic tribute! LOVED that first stanza and the lines "A soft, rosy-orange was she
In that dark sky of possibilities" best of all. Congrats on the spotlight!
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lol...I loved this comment. It's like cement: It bonds with me. Thank you for coming; thanks for reading this and your very inspiring feedback (AND you're very inspiring...lol). Thanks for it all...
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Love it.
flows well, stay on topic, vary nice write.
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Thanks very much. I appreciate this positive feedback a great deal. I am very moved by how you feel about this. Thanks again for this read.
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It was good. Even took me a while to realize you were rhyming. I detest it (mainly because I can't do it myself without sounding...well retarded
) Well pieced together. You can tell that you didn't just throw the words together but you were so giddy about what you were looking at and how you couldn't take your eyes away...that it almost feels like you did throw it on a page. It felt natural. I feel like I just rambled...lol I really did enjoy this write. 
Yink
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I honestly am moved by these wonderful words of yours. I like rhyme ("but not all the time"); if that's how it comes to me, I go with it. Lately though, I have mostly done rhyme-type (or near rhyme)...glad you enjoyed this write. I enjoyed seeing that sight and doing this (well, right? lol) - 'write'. Thanks for the visit here.
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really well done! i was so surprised at the end when finding out who you were really writing about. your description was really well done, and every word that you chose was fitting, really great write!
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I think this is such a light-hearted, refreshing comment. It says so much to me. I have to say, this feedback 'fed' me...Thank you for it and this read.
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Wonderful poem, I stood with you all the time you were there. I have stood alone many times but your writing gave me a new way to look.
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Wow...are you serious? I am amazed at the natural world...you know? Celestial events and stuff like that...always have peered into the skies in utter wonder (mostly alone though...my 'reflection-pool' references). Thanks for joining me on this one. And many thanks for read and great feedback...
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for as she shown for your eyes only, her soft rosy-orange took the breath away,for as she stilled the hands of time ,another heart, she had truly won...sighs...the moon in her fullest is pure magic *wink*
niaish for sharing the magic of your soft words with me:f:f:f
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Thank you for reading this; for giving some time to this piece. Yeah, "another heart, she had truly won"...she had my vote.
~ still remembering with a bucket of sighs... ~ You are welcome for this...
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color matters,
beauty of God and all.
lovely imagery, I could almost see it.
breathtaking beauty.
God bless...
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Well, in that case I'm doubly-glad for posting this. A lot of the really important things (matter) get pushed aside in the high-pace world we live in today. To see somethings in an old-fashioned, back-to-nature way is so refreshing its hard to describe. So ultimately, this was my attempt to 'describe' just such an event. Thanks for your wonderful comments here. I wish you all the best...
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This was beautiful! It captures it so well! Ah I'm going to read it again once I finished commenting!!! It was beautiful my friend!
-Faded
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Wow...thanks a lot. I'm glad that you liked this. Re-reading it, huh? Well, I hope its as good as the first time around (lol). I appreciate your kind words and this visit. Thanks again.
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Ahhh... Another lover of the moon. Luna. Selene. From crescents to it's butt's exposure in full. Write on, poet. One.
Dez
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LOL...that's funny. You're killing me kid. Thanks for the read; the feedback - just for being you. I appreciate it. "From crescents to it's butt's exposure in full"---hilarious.
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Intense and Captivating!
What a wondrous picture this paints!
Dear Poet, you have outdone yourself with this piece! I am sitting here trying to decide what part of this is my favorite, and I have decided that I just love the whole piece. I am floored with the way this is laid down. You certainly 'peeled back reality' for me with this amazing, astounding write! This piece is so hot it is surreal! Wow, wow, and wow again... Bravo Dear Poet.. The muse dances with excitement!
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Well then, perhaps I shall take her arm; "shall we Waltz O' muse? Or perhaps Tango? Or something more up-to-date...what is your angle?" (then I step on her foot...OUCH! music fades; cord is pulled - end of story. hahaha). You have outdid yourself with these unbelievable comments. Did you really like it that much? Geez, I was the one moved by it...just kidding. Thanks tons and tons for the review and feedback. Glad you got to read this.
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Bravo!
this is by far the most romantic piece I've ever read by you! l.o.l. No, for real it is romantic but in a love for nature and god's creation kind of way! I LOVED THIS WHOLE PIECE, but the stanza that I favor the most is the third one(very clever you 'WISE' guy you!) two huge thumbs up!
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lol...me just loves this comment (hahaha). I thought this might make you laugh a little. Glad that you liked it though. You of all people, know how I love nature; the natural world. Hmmmm...thanks for the feedback boss-man (lol).
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