Oh Allah!
It is my faith that moves me,
Your eternal power
give me hopes even
when I am
drowned in pathless dreams.
I know I get anxious
and from fears I step back
but I don't stay that way
for so long.
'I watch my soul'
with its youthful sound
roaming to bring me the feel of joy,
so I move forward
to explore your divinity
beyond any human sight.
I, who dive deeper
into the self,
still worship simplicity
and know how I earn
my sorrows and my joys.
In my eastern skies,
right from where
the sun comes and goes,
I face the 'Kaabah'.
I let my humble spirit
stand once more before you,
until I see a white light mixed with tears
I know then my soul becomes enlightened~
Author notes
Actually this is true experience. I do pray and face 'Kaabah' 5times/a day..and there are time I pray untill I see white light mixte with tears ..not knowing where they came from..I only know the joy that comes after..
- understanding islam group list • next in list
A contest entry
- you can watch your soul ... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended June 22, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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until I see a white light mixed with tears
I know then my soul becomes enlightened~
this is so beautiful. so mnay have wished to just have your experience. -
This is beautiful. I think you have made the Haj, if only in your prayers.
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Dear muslim sibling, this was really beautiful!
Allah Hafez
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You are very lucky to experience such peace and
one-ness.
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This is a lovely experience, when I am in my prayers I envision an endless hall where we are present before the Almighty and Allah is looking on me..it is a wonderful feeling!
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this is a very brilliant piece of write. do continue writing. All the best.
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You are trying to catchhold of the various sketches of the muse turning them into the one image..and that relates to your poetry and to HIS truth as well..
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Thank you my sweet friend
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I am quite moved by your sweet and heartfelt expression of the touch of the divine upon your soul...white healing light and this mixture of your own tears is such a wonderful connection to your spirit...I enjoyed reading this piece and wish you the very best in this contest. Peace be with you, Rhonda
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Thank you for your sweet comment Rhonda..I am glad it moved you..
Ruby
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Very well written. I didn't even realize that English is not your native language until I read the other comments. Your poem speaks of a deeply personal relationship with Allah and that is a beautiful thing. I especially like the metaphor in the following lines:
when I am
drowned in pathless dreams.
Keep writing and best of luck in the contest.
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Kaabah
One of the Five Pillars of faith...
Ironic isn't it... that a man running for President in USA has a last name one letter short of Osama and his middle name is Hussein like former leader of Iraq's last name. Barack Hussein Obama... Or so I hear.
Perhaps, God wants us all to think we are all more alike than different so we will see the white light epitome of "Let Go and Let God": PEACE. Sometimes things are not only if God is willing and if people are willing.
This is what you wrote brought to mind. Faith inspiration of yours is thought provoking leading us both to the grace of God.
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Thank you Sea angel..I appreciate your comment and maybe you are right
Ruby
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ESL poetry is hard to critique
Hi Ruby,
I can see from this poem that you're hoping to convey a sense of your adoration for Allah. However, I'm not here to judge your piety . . . I'm here to judge your poetry.
English is not easy. English, as a second language, can be very tough indeed. Taking this into account, I also acknowledge that English poetry owes a huge debt to Arabic influences. Accordingly, I will limit my critique to English as a language.
First of all, there's a difference between platitudes and poetry. Platitudes are one-dimensional and invoke age-old, cliche, themes. Poetry, on the other hand, is multi-dimensional, expressive and unique. The cliches, dogma and rote of platitudes are enemies of poetry.
As an art-form, English poetry necessarily displays mastery of the English language. In any language, poetry is the pinnacle of expression. To pursue poetry in ANY second language is an expression of confidence in your own potential. I don't want to discourage you: I want only to emphasize the need to master the English language as you pursue English poetry.
To this end, you can enlist the help of any English-competent friend or associate to proof-read and correct errors in grammar, spelling and punctuation. I will not point out the syntactical errors in your poem because this REALLY should be done by a mentor BEFORE you post your poem(s). Try it, the effort will help a lot in your quest for English mastery.
Your heart-felt feelings can not be denied. This doesn't, of itself, qualify as poetry. -
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Thank you for your comment but I rather hear your suggestions than long page of criticizing my poor 'ESL' poetry. This is just a website where people share their words, feelings..I didn't publish it in a book. I understand I need to work in my English..and I always welcome nice friendly comment not discouraging ones as yours..I am still proud that I can speak fluently and write 3languages. not too many people do. Thanks anyway and I will take a look at this.
Ruby
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really2 beautiful...
dun't know what to say..
this is so wonderfull..
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Such powerful image you have placed before us.
I find it hard to comment...
'stand once more before you' ...
And in You.
Sol
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i can so understand this write from my heart... mashallah.
i am more than happy to read this
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Salam Abdulla I am glad you enjoyed it..I sure know you do brother. Thank you
Ruby
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it is the gleaming from the window of your soul, where
Allah comes to ignite the candles of your faith, and let you bask in the glory of his warmth. The tears are for all of the blind who know not the light of God, but wander aimlessly down dark paths. You become the vessel, his lamp to those in need and so he sets you with many other followers as torches to enlightenment. ~Artis
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Beautiful
Such an faith expressed verse. So very well expressed and spiritual. Best of luck in the contest.
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