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Followed

Against the soothing rustle
of a petal sated stream,
an uninvited thunder
yields a frail and grisly scream.

A flicker in the distance --
my distress is more alert.
The stark and stirring forest
tricks my brain to sharply hurt.

Abiding by my shadow --
piercing eyes of nosy grit.
A soul in hooded vesture
seldom shows his signs of quit.

One bail of stolen concepts;
Prowlers have their echoed spree.
I know I'm being followed,
but the path was set by me.




Author notes

Image Credit:
"Scrying" by indigodeep

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • MikeNoxaura
    June 19, 2008

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    wow

    this one reminds me of an old poem about Christianity by C S Lewis, about feeling small when walking besides saints.


  • thepoetsings
    June 16, 2008

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    So...normally not a huge fan of rhyme. I think it generally tends towards being flat-out obnoxious. That being said, I actually like this. So congrats to you for renewing my faith in humanity's ability to rhyme without being dumb.


  • Midniterose
    June 11, 2008
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    My first impression of the meaning is past sins and their consequences catching up to you, but I think you have something deeper to this. I like it though. Your language desribes the emotion of the poem clearly and I like the flow and rythm. I applaud you on this excellent piece.


  • McRae by nature
    June 9, 2008

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    You are an amazing poet. I personally love great rhyming poetry, and I have come to expect that from you thank you.

    Carrie


  • Dalaney gold member
    June 9, 2008

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    Very well done Your rhyme and word choice
    is superb. I really do enjoy reading your
    work. Very much. Love, Lane


  • swim.x
    June 9, 2008
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    I love the themes that you have portrayed here.
    An inspiring write.
    x


  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    June 9, 2008
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    This had a very powerful message in it. It was well written and very well structured. It was smooth and had great flow to it. It drew the reader to what you were saying from beginning to end. Thank you for sharing this and keep writing you are one of those rare poets.


  • Weltt
    June 9, 2008

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    A powerful message and a compelling story you have formed with your smooth rhyme and perfect flow. well done!


  • theworldisquiethere
    June 9, 2008

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    Love the images here. And the last two lines - wow. Had to read it twice, so powerful! setting your own path and others following. Fantastic job!

1 - 9 of 9