I rise from beneath
the sapphire dyed
silk woven threads
upon my cloud.
The garments that hang loosely
from my small frame
reflect the heavenly lights
that shine through the black velvet
that is the night sky.
I don my ruby red armor
and unfurl my wings.
I grab those fiery chains
that lay at my feet
and with a small grunt,
I take flight to the west
pulling with me,
That giant fiery orb.
Streaks of gold race across the sky
as the dark abyss below
finally reveals the tranquil green
it had previously devoured.
Birds from the trees take flight
in all their splendor;
the sky is alive with
colors that rival
the grandeur of my armour
that was crafted by
Hephaestus himself.
And with a smile on my fair face,
I exert one last heave on the chains,
and pull the glorious golden sun
above the horizon.
Author notes
well, this poem is a first person view of the Goddess of morning, Alectrona. i decided to do the sunrise. sunrise's are actually quite wonderful when you're away from the city! aren't they?
Hephaestus is the greek god of fire and forge. he makes the armour and weapons for many greek gods like Achilles.
username: Chocolate Chip
go chocolate!!!!
The Best of AP
A contest entry
- Round TWO: all you brilliant young poets....20 and under... by islekine.
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Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Some beautifully COLOURFUL images in this poem;
I love reading about sunrise / sunsets when they're worded well; you skillfully managed to avoid reptition and instead filled the entire poem with passionate hues, and vivid descriptions -
Great job! Thanks for entering
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thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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I love the images in this, unique, and linking it to myth and religion works well to anchor ir. Congrats on the silver, well deserved.
Mythology usually makes a piece beautiful.
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nice use of imagery and colour throughout, I particularly liked the use of sibilance at the start. The use of language easily creates images in the mind and the final lines encapsulate the image of the sun rising whilst suggesting personification. Nice write.
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Beautiful! I don't have too much to say (lol, after twelve hours of work I don't want to have to think!) except that in some places this piece seems to burst forward, and in other places it seems as if you were searching for words. I suggest giving yourself some time away from it, and then re-reading it, you might find that a word or two is out of place. Otherwise, very nice.
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Sunrises are one of the nicest things. If you are in the country they are especially beautiful. Well done with this piece.
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Go Chocolate!!! :)
This is a wonderful poem!!
I like the tale you wove....
If you take out some of the "the" and "and" s...it would read much smoother...
Thanks for entering....
Write on! Best wishes...Final score in final notes..
*PEACE*
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This was a very good Poem I really liked it. It was very descriptive and creative. I like the flow and the rhytm it was done quite well. Thank you for sharing
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sunrises are pretty, even if you live in the city...but Ive also seen it rise from out of the city and it was breath taking.
as was this poem. =D great write.Hephaestus.. :/ I used to know most of the Greek God but can't recall him...but do remember there was a God with fir and forge...
anyway, really great write!!
-jenn
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and thank YOU so much for your comment!
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wow. I'm absolutely speechless. This is one of your best poems ever! =D
i love it -
Wow, a breathtaking scene you have painted with these lovely lines
I find this theme quite unique since I never heard about Alectrona and all ^^
Good luck in the contest for this great piece you've entered
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that was what i was aiming for...something unique.
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Sunrise
My school is by a buffalo farm. I am also in marching band, which means i have to show up at school an hour before anyone else. I have seen my fare share of sunrises, even if i didn't want to see them.
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