i)
there are no bars,
no metallic fingernails
pressed against
sunsets suffocating
on the windowpanes;
no breathe is baking
at a doorway, fingers
locked in key-shapes.
but i will sing the stars
goodbye,
and drive only two legs
into wherever
neverland may be.
and mother,
will you ask me
if i'm a child
on my hips, again?
when you do,
shut your dagger eyes
and ask your husband
the same question
for my answer is
if only.
ii)
underneath my sheets,
there are spiders
and a life left scratched
between everything i wanted
to forget,
including me.
i want to go back
to limbs of lead
and painting my eyes on
in the steel of childhood,
where i could fit
into the mo(u)rning mouth
of a bedtime story,
and stare at the cobwebs
that spelled words
like i'm sorry
to me, the ones
that only breathed black
beneath the boxsprings.
iii)
i raised mountains
on my chest, and
flooded my body
with moses,
floating down the river
between my legs.
i can no longer
slide my story
underneath the mattress.
all i can do
is keep breathing.
Author notes
my bedroom.
when i was a child, i used to hide under my bed when i was upset, just like anyone else. but i have so many things under there that would block anyone looking for me, and no one could find me, and i would lay there for hours and look at the spiderwebs and think maybe that a spider like charlotte would come and tell me that she was sorry for me too.
what with all the family problems of this year, i wish i could still fit under my bed and believe that the spiders were sorry for me too.
A contest entry
- TI8 - Round 10 - Top 4 - Finale - Assignment 2 by Tangled Angle.
1400 points, ended June 15, 2008, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
...
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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i've probably read this over thirty times but never know what to say when commenting. this is one of my favorite pieces like ever.
i love this so much.
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-no breathe is baking- I think you mean "breath".
your imagery is really good and this flowed so effortlessly.
I really felt this.
you're great.
p.s
the ending was killer.
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WOW
omg!!! this was incredible. i felt the emotion so you really thought it out. i remember hiding under my bed to get away from all my problems and it use to work. i would give anything to have the option again. i understand greatly
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I'm in love with your imagery.
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I felt this - every bit of it - and i'm not letting it go. You really thought this one out really well. My favorite one of yours in the competition so far.
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Instead of 'no' on line two, I would have almost preferred 'or' - two 'no's' close together. (Petty really)
Really love stanza three of the first part. It is wonderfully simple and delicately profound.
I believe the second part is the strongest, your imagery is clear and the emotion well thought out. Each stanza balances the next.
Part three, stanza one - I am envious. There is nothing else to say. I wish I wrote that.
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Wow.
This is incredible. I loved it (: Especially with the story behind it.. I remember hiding under my bed..
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the end of i. is really strong.
haha, i was going to use mo(u)rning, like, a week ago!
i liked the ending a lot, a good piece lizzy
-cassidy
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love love LOVE the ending.
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nicely done
I think we all want to hide under a bed sometimes and wish that we still could. This poem captures the intensity of the difficult times you are having. I wish you luck with it.
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