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Painting the Bay

 
painting the bay as the sun start to set

along the cliffs, structure its steep view

with ships descending a path let

a traveler weary through

the forest as the deer

frolic its long run

down cliffs with sheer

delight fun

that sway

bay

 
 
 

Author notes

Etheree Form: The poetry form, Etheree, consists of 10 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 syllables. Etheree can
also be reversed and written 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Get creative and write an Etheree with
more than one verse, but follow suit with an inverted syllable count.

Reversed Etheree: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Double Etheree: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10, 9, 8, 7, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

...Triple Etheree, Quadruple Etheree, and so on!

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    June 26

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your interesting entry in our contest, while it was a good etheree we felt the rhyme and flow were a little off toward the end.
    Please join us in future contests...Sue and Jeff


  • neurosine gold member
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    starts to set...
    structure its steep view, highly ambiguous.

    so...a guy fell down a beautiful cliff that had a trail..or what?
    I don't know?
    How is anyone supposed to?

  • maggiejamespoet silver member
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome poem in so many ways: concrete (shaped like a cliff); beautiful words form images on page; and visually feel like you are on a ride in pink clouds. Great poem and good luck in the contest!

    • kendhal22 gold member
      June 9
      Edit | Reply

      thank u

      thank u for the wonderful comments given to my poem. Kendhal22

  • dwarr08
    June 9
    Edit | Reply
    i thought it was decent at first but i appreciate it more considering how you did it

    • kendhal22 gold member
      June 9
      Edit | Reply

      thank u

      Thank u for the wonderful comments. The first step to doing an etheree poem is syllable ur poem to 1-10 or u can reverse the count to have the idea for which ur poem will look and to ryhme or free verse similar to a cinquain or a rictamter form. Kendhal22

  • Emile
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    Your syllable count on line 2 is 8 not 9. This poem has good flow but fails to evoke emotion or make a significant statement. I find myself a little amused but not disappointed. A good attempt requiring some refinements.

    . Rewarded 4

1 - 7 of 7