Caresses,
Light as a feather
Promises of love forever.
Lissom and lithe becomes
Brittle and dry.
Shadows fall confusing my mind.
"Was that my sweet boy come back from the war?
Oh, I remember, no, he'll not come again."
Nothing left to me now
Just memories is all.
Thoughts poured into jars,
Kept on shelves on the wall.
Soon there will be another to store,
Close up the door
There is nothing more.
(c) TheRose
Author notes
Prompt 3 "All that is left to give"
A contest entry
- Various Prompts by Errant Panther.
460 points, ended June 13, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Great evocative descriptive detail here really communicate the feelings of the poetic voice. This is quite a sad and poignant write packed with appropriate imagery and tells a story well. Well structured too. Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you for your comment, Errant Panther. I meant to imply the passing of time and the impact it has on the human body and mind. Perhaps if I changed it to
"Bodies once lissom and lithe,
become brittle and dry."
the implication might be clearer, do you think? -
Not sure I completely get your message here "lissom and lithe" threw me a little. This piece does however show a depth that goes beyond the page, intriguing take on the title.
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