Here as I turn from your glow to your shade then to light,
breathing life into green through your heat to exhale in the night,
held invisibly gathered and ever heart ruptured to skin,
as making magnificent display of all- deep, high, outside and in,
my dance turns around my dependence on One as I spin
mirror moon brother drags Life's waves; perpetuate pulling
of them breaks bones from my core to my sides,
while washing my face ever-refreshed to be feeling clean skies,
the abuse of me sometimes makes innocence cry from their -
lies! yet I appear as I am in belief.
Author notes
Experimental
A contest entry
- "Unending belief------------ by Purush.
550 points, ended June 24, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Winklings # 118 Open to Allpoetry including all Winkling Groups by Winklings.
6000 points, ended September 15, 12 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Welcome any sincere response and critique
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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The journey of the love is begin...and it may take many and many turns to reach at its final station..and you are there with in the momments ..isn't..?lol
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Experimental indeed!
But intriguing and captivating! I love the weave of theme here in verse, between the two prompts. Very nice. Best of luck in the contest!
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Thank you very much for kind comment and for the 'honour'.
Sol
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Incredible!
No words of mine can do this justice. It's so excellent in fact that I could have written it and probably would have if you hadn't written it first!
Peace Georgia
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Thank you so much for your generous comment Georgia, I know it was a while ago but it still puts a big smile on my face.
All the best to you my friend
Sol
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Awesome...that's all I can say to this write...awesome! I am reminded of a story by Theodore Geisel(Dr.Seuss) written after he and his wife had traveled to South America and witnessed unrestricted leveling of parts of the rainforests there. It was called "The Lorax" and the one line from this story that moved me beyond words, as does this write of yours, is this: "I am the Lorax, and I speak for the trees". Your Voice here speaks for Mother Gaia in an echoing and powerful way. Thank you for speaking so clearly and honestly...an excellent poem of truth. Bless you. Peace always, Rhonda
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Thank you for bringing me so much delight with your comments.
And Peace to you and yours always.
Sol
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This is wonderful Sol, the imagery here is amazing and I loved reading through this. I enjoyed the highlighted text, it made it very powerful, and each line had something profound to say. Well done for this and all the best for the contest.
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Wonderful
A very creative and well express piece. captures the sense of mother earth so well. Best of luck in the contest.
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Mother earth...
I doubt I could think of anything more perfect for unending belief than 'earth' ..
We go about our lives standing on it, crossing it, using it, assuming it, as there it is. Yet here we are, spinning in space caught in the magic of planets and suns..
This magnificent thing we exist on. Yet what it is beyond itself inside our eyes is so very different from what it is .. isn't it? Oh of course by that I mean, each of our singular perspectives trying to grasp the whole of distances so outside of common we have trouble even getting to -- beyond me there is a world or beyond it, others, beyond it, stars, beyond them, something, perhaps we'll call it ever -- and still, regardless of how far we can see, here we are.
Mother earth, father time.. all of it nothing without that beautiful thing in the sky, and all that creates it..
I'm rambling
I love the type ..the contrast between the white and blue, it makes me think of water, of waves, and of tears..
of oceans, of life, and yes, all those lies, the 'world' sees in the mirror... as truth.
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I love your 'rambling' and I'm so delighted that it moved you to do so.
Yes... and for me it serves as an archetype for 'patience' too not to mention 'devotion'.
It seems to me that our Earth is affected by our vision of it and that it suffers from the lies, limited beliefs, which it cannot but mirror to us physically.
Thank you
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"It seems to me that our Earth is affected by our vision of it and that it suffers from the lies, limited beliefs, which it cannot but mirror to us physically."
I may not agree with you 'literally' ....but figuratively, yes, very much so.
and as for those archetypes ...yes also, it's an excellent symbol for patience.. for me
You're welcome
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Wow, I don't think I can take this one all in with one read. I'll have to come back again when I'm not so rushed. I like it though, fantastic take on the prompt given. And your highlighted text format is very clever. This contains so much! Well done.X
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Stunning!
Your poem started with portrayal of a wonderous love scene where breathing(ABC of living) depend strongly on the heat of the beloved. And in the middle it turned to an understanding of dependence on him the ‘One’. Than the whole last part brought me chills. .it switched to a sad, and painful scene than back to the feelings of hopes by refreshing the
'self'.
I think this was excellent and to include all those feelings;love,pain,hope,spirituality...all in one piece with such an ease tell us a lot about your talent my friend.
This should be a winner, best of luck in the contest.
Ruby
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Thank you for reading so well, my intention here, I am so pleased.
Yes, for me it is about Man, both as an individual and globally in the image of the Earth as his own mirror.
Ever refreshing may also point to ablutions before prayer, as well as nature's way.
An alarm is intended, and to be enforced by the highlighted text read separately.
And: 'yet I appear as I am in belief' includes pointing to the greatest hope that 'Mankind', through his recognition and movement in his belief, can play his part in bringing about a redressing of balance.
Everything appearing according to its nature 'its belief' of what it is,
and Mankind ever progressing in this journey, I do believe there is indeed great cause for hope in this. Meanwhile the Earths ever turning surely expresses a strong symbol of the deep patience we must find.
Thank you so much Ruby.
Sol
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All the best in my contest
"mirror moon brother drags Life's waves; perpetuate pulling
of them breaks bones from my core to my sides,
while washing my face ever-refreshed to be feeling clean skies
the abuse of me sometimes makes innocence cry from their -
lies! yet I appear as I am in belief."
an excellent take on the prompt.really beautiful
All the best in my contest -
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Much thanks to you Purush
I much enjoyed responding to your excellent prompt
and am most pleased and honoured to have received your trophy.
All the very best to you
Sol
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i don't think people lie, i just think they don't understand, therefore perception is one half of the arguement and truth comes out, no matter what... unless of course it is a blatant lie and something of hatred and injustice, then they are just bloody awful bigots and unworthy of knowing what is right and what is seen as beautiful
sheesh.. that's a long one for me
hahahahahhaha
okay... go read my new one, you rotter
bloody marvelous this Sol... be good
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Thanks... I'm glad you like it, I wasn't sure that you would
Thought I might get a scolding!
The 'lies'- I'd say all that, born of partial, limited and often stubborn beliefs which fall so short of the widths of 'truth' which we need for proper health.
Do you think there's a picture of the Earth in 'photo bucket? x
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i'm sure you can find a good picture, if not.. paint one!!!! lmao
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