Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Naive To Believe

Though I long for love in your eyes
your heart resists,
lustful lips crave passion's kiss

I'll keep knocking on shuttered windows
finding lonely mornings
completely blind to false affection's warnings

Author notes

Prompt:
"Close your eyes when you kiss me,
So i don't see the lies that live there"

Pic Credit:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/126/381823054_3e6aadc50d.jpg?v=0

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • ratkos
    June 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is so good! i love the angst and loss thats evident good luck!


  • Lexie - gold member
    June 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    but we see what we want to see right?
    i like this one very much

  • carole21
    June 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    nice

    nicely penned write for the prompt . . liked "lustful lips crave passon's kiss" and "shuttered windows" . . nice comparison . . good luck in the contest . .


  • notorious
    June 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hey, the title rhymes!! Kind of...

    I think "lustful lips" should be "lusting lips"...just my opinion.

    "your heart resists"
    LoL!! Simply put, but effectively and kind of amusing in its wryness.

    "finding lonely mornings completely blind to false affection's warnings"
    Brilliant 2 lines right there!! Plus, I think it's kind of significant that you're knocking on shuttered windows...great representation of this entire poem with that phrase.


  • Ithica silver member
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants even though it flies in the face of all reason... You have captured this pain well with your words...


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning!! Really captures the emotions of the prompt and displays them with beautiful depth and imagery!!

    I hope you do well in my sis' contest bro!


  • perfectsunset gold member
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, you blew mine RIGHT out of the water with this one hun.. thanks alot!!! lol This was so passionate filled with tender emotions. You took the prompt to a new level and done it so beautifully. & the picture is so perfect for this.. original too! heheh

    Best of luck in the contest hun, I'm sure yours is a winner!


  • Angelflower
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Eek!! I need to back out of this contest!!! lol..
    This was really wonderful!
    You did such a great job with the prompt!
    I love your take!
    Best of luck!

    Angel


    • Weltt
      June 8, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Angel!!

      Heading over to read yours. Im sure it makes mine seem silly!

1 - 10 of 10