dust swirl at your feet
sweat stings your scrapes
and cuts as the sun beats
down on you and the weight
of your dreams while he sways
ever out of reach.
A contest entry
- Prompt 10 entries/ 30 to 40 words by mysticstorm.
475 points, ended June 25, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
succinct, chocked full of atmosphere & attitude,
and pretty much fabulous! I like this a lot.
-
i like the way you've taken this away from the obvious choice, it has great depth and feeling,
well done and good luck
-
Yes ...
dreams may become a burden ... and the sun, ever detached, yet the sweat of your daily bread. Cheated.
I do not know why, but I have this picture of you mowing a lawn ...
Blessed be.
Myra
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