Waking up in the morning to the ring of the phone
Still half asleep I answer with a mumbled hello groan;
It was more prospective buyers, what do they want?
They’ll be there in just a minute, he says nonchalant.
Well, I could handle the family who came an hour late
Or that little boy who accidentally broke my favorite plate
But oh no! This has gone way too far this time
Barging into my house this early should be a crime!
So me and my wife, we decided to come up with a devious plan
Because I’m not selling my house to the one-minute warning man!
So after that family came and went we sat down and wrote it all out
The plan to scare these prospective buyers away without any doubt;
“Children, come here quick! Mommy and I have something to tell you
Until we move you no longer have to keep your rooms clean, its true!
You can leave your toys wherever and leave your clothes on the floor;
But remember, this is just until we leave and the last time we close the door.”
We also gave a call to our realtor and told him we wanted to increase the price
He told us this wasn’t a good idea, but we told him we didn’t want the advice;
Just a few days ago we had picked up all of fall’s leaves in the font yard,
But we took them all and threw them back over with very little regard;
We stopped cleaning up the kitchen after meals, maybe that’s the smell
Or maybe its cuz our puppy loves to poop on the floor, a stench from hell
We make sure to have our music blaring whenever the buyers decide to come
We use to vacuum, but no more! The toilets have been soiled with scum!
In our front room we use to keep fresh cut flowers to add something pure
But we decided to let them die which was probably very immature
We put back up the ten year old wallpaper that was complete trash
And in the walls we decided to throw tomatoes and watch them smash;
Yup, I think this will work at keeping those prospective buyers away
Our house is now definitely an example of a house in disarray
Honorable mention
Adding your comment:
now I know that if I am ever buying a house what to look out for! Beautiful flow and rhythm - a joy to read - although I did screw my nose up at the dog poop part 
You always know what to say to get me to smile 
)
