Floor boards answered
without being asked
walls retold to unsettled panes
as wind connected indoors to night
through missing pieces of frame and putty
I closed eyes cradled ‘neath covers
cool air of night, risen from ground
retreating day gave way to cloudless skies
and moon and stars shed benign light
making moths into shadow dances
moving branches into flames
wonder into visitations
as Angels and mysteries crowd my corners
slowed stillness becomes my friend
for tomorrow brings an empty pillow
an older reflection in glance at glass
where once I saw smiling memories
darkness holds back the day
lets me hear wings, whispers and soft songs
not allowed by sunlight.
Author notes
JUDGE'S ENTRY...Just for the fun of it...not for competition...can't let the writers have all the fun.
A contest entry
- Silence - Lucian Blaga by Peteskid.
1300 points, ended June 17, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I feel that you have invaded my memory with these first few stanzas. I have slept in this house. I have walked those floorboards. My grandmother's house. It was probably about 60 years old at that time, much older now. And in the room where I slept, in the far upstairs, the wind was so strong at that height that it came into the room every night. As a small child I was afraid. My sensibilities told me it was the wind, and yet it spoke to me of possibilities, the unknown. So you have taken me back to that room. It had been a while, so thank you.
The power of memory here is so strong. I LOVE that line "as angels and mysteries crowd my corners"--the night is hopeful, indeed. A friend. The day, on the other hand, is too much in the now with the empty pillow, almost too much reality to dream.
Excellent both in depth and execution. Really took me on a thought journey both past and future.
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Well-to-do folk probably don't see the richness in this:
"as wind connected indoors to night
through missing pieces of frame and putty"
but anyone who has lived less than perfectly snug can appreciate your lines.
Stanza four, for me, that is the poem's focal point, I mean, the theme, that darkness brings a peace that the daylight cannot, for it deals too much in what can be seen, literally and figuratively.
I like the dark, used to walk in the woods at night, just because it was quiet and I was too stupid to fear rabid animals...and its odd while on these walks, how I could admit truths that I denied in the daytime...but I guess that is still true in any darkness. Sorry, I've strayed very far off the path, lost amongst the thistles and burdocks. But it was fun until they started pricking at my skin...ah reality.
Can a host give himself gold? You probably deserve it. I think I'll host a contest and see.
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Ahhh Yem-
You have touched on the main point here, the night and the silence unique feelings of darkness and solitude, bring different moods, moments and realizations to me and many others; perhaps a vestige of our shared human past, the sun and daylight have such an influence on our senses; thank you for noticing the window, yes it was from memory, old houses seemed to have special needs...meditation and thought, silence...thank you for reading and your most thoughtful insights...PK
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Quiet is the night to light the flame that moves the moth to dance. This so reminds me of solitude, and how darkness can bring us into focus of past and present sentiments. You set the bar with this one as the contest host. LOL You may have scarred a few people away. LOL
Excellent work PK!
Much Love ♥
Renee
. Rewarded 6
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well then if YOU ever enter one of your contests i suggest you wait till it is already filled......PK
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I think this is wonderfully done
Very creative
Wishing you light and love..always -
LOL... Incredible write my man. Love the metaphors. I'm slapping my viens again. Return the met addict. Write on. One.
Dez
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you're so silly, putting in your own entry!
i hate night time, when i'm in the bed alone, but you make it seem like such a wonderful experience with the moth line. i liked that part the best!
your second to last stanza was amazing! it speaks to me and all my fears of what tomorrow's reflection will show me!
well done, pk!
*rianna
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I liked it when you showed me yesterday, and like it even more now I read it again. You have understood the feelings of Silence, and now you wrote what it meant to you. This poem of yours show how inspiration work, how we let someone else's words work inside of us.
Great read h!
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I love every line! Darkness is that special haven where your senses are focused on things hidden by the white noise of daylight. Beautiful with imagery...I wish that I had written it!
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Peace in the night
we find nowhere else! As always you find a way of conveying our innate wants.
I thankyou for once again uplifting me
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"darkness holds back the day
lets me hear wings, whispers and soft songs
not allowed by sunlight."
I love this - there are many sounds we don't even notice in the daytime that appear to us in the silence of night.
beautiful
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