on the upward surge....
the treasure-chest spilling pain
which the tears are not able to measure
the winding path on the meadows
with shadeless trees
the scorching heat
which the summer is not able to calculate
among the autumn dry leaves
rustling thorny silence
life's superlatives brushing on my cheeks
winter mist
treading on torture and torment
to bleed....
sometimes the echo of soft gentle laughter
adding spice with beauty's pain
and the chill the winter is not able to feel
the spring elusive....
forgotten in misery and pain
embarrassment picking rights and wrongs
adding to the burdened shoulder
mysteries scattered on the path
to feed on unknown fears
sweeping memories lost and found
enwrapped in numbness
the shapeless shadow
reflecting on the ripples of troublesome water
on the cross-roads...
baffled
not for freedom's unlimited choice
nor for love's unexplored joys
but....
pining for a shore blossoming solace
yearning for life's little surprises
A contest entry
- Dancing With the Scars by Kathryn Bowden.
600 points, ended June 25, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - your personal best by indomitable.
600 points, ended July 7, 2008, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In Honor of reciving 100 HMs by peridotPixi.
681 points, ended July 8, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ARGH!!!! My Muse has gone AWOL... by Luckintheshadows.
450 points, ended August 2, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by youhadme-athello..
300 points, ended August 10, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Power, Placement, Perspective (4) by JM Kenyon.
900 points, ended August 30, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything & Everything Old or New by piccola.
600 points, ended August 30, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Wish Is My Command (LOL) by fairytalelovestory.
350 points, ended September 15, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Seasons... [prewrites permitted] =] by sora..
600 points, ended September 20, 2008, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry, Poetry and PreWrites! by Lost Vampyre Angel.
1200 points, ended September 13, 2008, 344 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn those greenies into Gold (or silver or bronze) pt 8 by whispernthedark.
700 points, ended October 25, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and Everything! [Prewrites Allowed] by Captain Amber SL.
700 points, ended April 26, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I love the journey you take us on here... the journey through the seasons and through life itself. You use a lot of descriptive language and poetic devices, especially personification.
"enwrapped in numbness
the shapeless shadow
reflecting on the ripples of troublesome water"
I especially liked this line, it seemed to call me as I read it.
I wish you the best of luck, and keep writing and improving your poetry. ^__^
Aeris Silverlight
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An excellent poem. That journey through life and love. Well thought out and an enjoyable read.
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LIfe's little surprises are what keep us going, I think. It doesn't matter if they are positive or negative, they feed the drive to go on and meet another day (which has it's own little suprises).
Lovely write.
s an dbest wihses always... ~Genie~
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Very soft and beautiful. I love the last stanza. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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This is beautiful!
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"life's superlatives brushing on my cheeks"
o_0
i really do believe that i love this.
great work!
=]
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yearning for life's little surprises ... yes those little surprises when they come fill our hearts with happiness don't they. Unplanned and taking us by surprise. I like your line and the write. thank you for entering.
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Good job :]
I enjoyed reading this.
Thanks for entering. -
I agree with Nick, this poem is well done


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Wow, such stunning imagery! I like this, very, very well written.
Thanks for sharing this, and taking the time to enter my contest,
Luck. -
Worth of gold, so many metaphores
Well done

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This has wonderful imagery and metaphore. Good luck in the contests. A very lovely write
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Thank you for the beautiful entry to my contest,
I like how you have told so much about life’s little surprises I like the feelings you have used in this poem, with the unknown fears and the shapeless shadows and the many things that add to the burdened shoulder. I think that adding a background of nature or maybe of fire would add more character to this poem, keep up the wonderful writing, ~Amy
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this is a wonderfully thought provoking poem, filled with all of the things that make life LIFE. pain and laughter and pleasure, and love. need and memories. so well written. this painted such a clear picture for me, i envy your ability to impart emotion in your poetry.


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Expressive vocab
I like the expressions: on the upward surge....life's superlatives brushing on my cheeks... the echo of soft gentle laughter... sweeping memories lost and found... the wrinkles of troublesome water... love's unexplored joys
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good write. Your word choice is wonderful and you turn a phrase so well. This is one worth reading and re-reading. Thanks for taking time to enter and good luck and God bless!
Kathryn

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