I’ve spent hours working in the gym
to make shoulders broad and keep waist slim.
I stay muscular – but not obscene
and watch my diet to stay lean.
To keep the fullness of my hair
I’ve had transplants from my derrière.
(I’d appreciate it if you showed a little class
and not make jokes about my head up my ass!)
I’ve had depilation to remove chest hair
and weekly spa visits keep my skin fair.
I avoid exposure and keep my tan
by spraying myself with sun in a can.
I’ve had surgeries to increase my appeal,
and achieved this state of near ideal.
Eyes and nose and even chin.
They’ve even peeled parts of my skin.
There’s nothing left that needs correction,
and I have proof of my own perfection:
when I look into a mirror, I get an erection...
...See?
Author notes
Hmmmm why does the song "You're So Vain" keep running through my mind? (LOL)
Prompt: Picture
Picture Credit: Provided by daviscth
A contest entry
- #83 Adult picture prompt by daviscth.
300 points, ended June 12, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
how could I have missed this one??? this is priceless...roflmao.. this was just too funny.. Congratulations on the Gold my lover.. this is just perfect.. lol
kat
-
Very very funny!! Glad you got a gold with this.
Cheryl
-
OH........MY.........GOSH!!!!!! This was absolutely without any doubt the best entry!!!! Very deserving of the gold and what a treat to read with my morning coffee!!!! Hahhahahahahaaa......LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT
-
Oh, well done! This is hilarious.
(All I can think when I look at that pic is, what a tosser)
Fantastic write and a very funny ending. Good luck in the contest!
-
I bet you think this song is about you... love that song.
You couldn't sell me this guy if he came with a truckload of chocolate bars. I like my men earthy and genuine. He is probably looking cause it's so tiny he can't find it.
Yucky vanity.
-
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!
-
POP GOES THE WEASEL!!!!
I really loved this.. reminds me of something that my husband would say..lol. You did a wonderful job. Best of luck!!!
*hugs*
Angel
-
LMFAO Men!! and their err egos LOL This is too funny! I just spit coffee out my nose eww
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
