Why must you weep
As I stand here before you?
What use is it attracting others' pity
So sooth your tears and let me speak.
Those words, those sweet words
The ones they put into your head
Only to temporarily have you better
Until you see the real intent and weep again
They may tell you lies
To keep you dry
That you're great, excellent, that you're not horrible
Not knowing hat their praise will only make you worse
They may tell you lies
That they will never hurt you
And in saying so they do afterwards
The thought of it was still a nice thing to think of.
They may tell you lies
That nothing's perfect
but what would be perfect
Is the truth
They may tell you lies
that everyone loves you
All but me
For I refus to have involvement with their false tales.
Would you really prefer those words?
Would you really prefer being ignorant
That when every time you're down
Someone has to feed you false sweetness to temporarily mend?
Why must you weep?
Do you need another fib?
If the world may be untruthful to you
Then here is my lie:
You mean nothing to me
Author notes
Rei-Age 12
It was hard using not big words, and I unfortunately could not bring myself to rhyme. Umm, if you don't get the last stanza, just tell me and I'll explain before you judge... Hope you enjoyed.
A contest entry
- A totally awesome contest for kids 14 and under...but wait!You must not have won a GOLD trophie and/or SILVER trophie yet!!!!!!!!!(Please enter now....cuz i'm running out of things to say..er...type) by SmartBrick.
330 points, ended June 11, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honesty is my future's savior
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
I liked it!I'm sorry that you can't use small words...I'll tell you what!I'll let you enter again...Using bigger words!Of course your going to have to promise you'll make it good!I really liked how you put Honesty is my future's savior!That was COOL!
-
-
lol it's okay. I liked this one as is ;D
-
-
Aww, I can't enter. Curse my silver trophy.
I wouldn't be able to win any kid's contest anyways. People expect simple things. I can't write simple. That's who I am...
I like this. It's good. But not your best. This won't make it in the poetry slam...but give it a shot. If you win, well good for you! -
-
xD I can tell you can't do simple.
-
-
Very sweet ending in a twisted way. I find it charming and heartbreaking at the same time. The world being so untruthful like that often breaks down relationships and that you are able to capture that and write on it is very impressive.
I had to read it out loud though to be able to follow the full piece and it seems more a piece that needs to be read silently or very quietly to someone close. So having to read it out loud took a bit away. try to have someone you trust greatly read this in their head and show you exact spots on where to tweak it while you are sitting there with them. It's the kind of thing that needs to be done in person or it's difficult.
"The thought of it was still a nice thing to think of." Best line of it in my eyes. I love the simplicity of it while being able to go so deep into emotion.
Many koo-does for you piece.
-
-
Really? D; Ah well. I was planning to enter this poem in our school's Poetry Slam where you have to read it aloud then get scored, well eh.
I'm glad you liked it.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
