The basement was alive with the humming of sinners
trapped and crashing against windows
that God will never open
searching for the light ~
only to find
the darkness had gotten there first
and the music played louder
with the dead
dancing upon soles when I walk...
Author notes
Your prompt is: Hell is just the next entertainment ~ credit to Lute...
A contest entry
- One Hour-Prompt-Close when I see the winners!!! by Cannonsfire.
1750 points, ended June 8, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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So captivating in its dark and eloquent truths, OH MY GOD
Kudos on the Silver--what an amazing write and a great prompt...it's cynical and scathing and just perfect, really.
"The basement was alive with the humming of sinners"
Love this first line--it's wonderful and I think I'm going to bookmark this poem.
The rest of that first stanza continues with its perfectly effortless flow...it paints a scene of the sinners who care but don't care enough to do something about it...what a wonderful landscape painted on humanity and society...!
"only to find
the darkness had gotten there first"
Oh wow--this is really good stuff here. Sometimes darkness does find you faster than good...how true this line is.
The last stanza has a creepy chill...wonderful write and maybe my new favorite of yours =]
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This describes it so well, the evil laughter of sin. Love it. Love, C
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This is very cool. I do like the imagery it evokes. Juls
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