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Master of Puppets (Acrostic)

Master of puppets, I'm pulling the strings
Of you, and all the Earth.
Never far from lords or kings,
Ensuring all your leaders fail,
Yearning for evil to prevail

A vote is wasted thanks to me
Nothing but paper, all its worth.
Democracy's a lie, you see.

Presidents are all the same,
Only I control the earth,
While you're just players in my game.
Elections never changing things,
Remember, I control the strings.


Author notes

Inspired by Master of Puppets by Metallica. I have an interest in New World Order conspiracy theories, so there's a degree of influence there to the poem. But the real "Master of Puppets" who pulls the strings of the planet, and ruins everyone who could make a difference to this mess of a world is helpfully spelled out by my acrostic.

I went for a rhyme scheme because I'm a rhymer by nature. The acrostic made the scheme a little unconventional, but I think it worked ok - I'd like some feedback on that

fakeport

A contest entry

What do you think? Was the rhyme awkward?

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • City-of-Angels
    June 30, 2008

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    haha i love your acrostics! I never thought i'd have love and acrostics in the same sentence.

    "A vote is wasted thanks to me
    Nothing but paper, all its worth.
    Democracy's a lie, you see."

    dammmn very powerful. I really like your view on things keep on writin!


  • BlackSwan
    June 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Master of Puppets! amazing cover by Apocaliptica

    your poem is just as amazing

    -GL in contest


  • Bean Sidhe silver member
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You get automatic brownie points for acrostic work. I can't write in form to save my soul. Yes, the rhyme was a little jagged in a few places but I liked the work as a whole. Thank you for entering & good luck!


  • Justin
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very good. None of the lines seemed forced or out-of-place... so yeah, you're clearly a master of acrostics.

    The only thing I would have done differently would be the second to last line. I would have used "change" instead of "changing." I think it might flow better, and the tense would work better. Just my opinion though.... either way, this was very well penned. great job!


  • Potato
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Nice>.

    The rhyme was not to akward.
    Thanks for the amazing hope of the poem[sarcasim]
    Heh.
    what else. I feel that it is on like...a global level then with out warning jumps to the US. This is due to the kings thing. Don't know if you meant to do that, but it throws me off.


  • VerminVomit
    June 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow...everything is awesome
    i wish i could give more than 3 applauses

1 - 6 of 6