Known to others as Mad Jock
Kings Square's only Scot...
My Daddy!
To me he is more of a man than any other
Surely tall enough to reach the skys
Brave enought to fight all my demons
A man never ment to cry
As a child that was all I knew
My dad was the best of all
He was my hero, my protector,
My soft place to fall
Now as a teen I see him for who he truly is
A man more anoying than flies
A man full of hurt just like any other
But still the best in my eyes
Yes he winds me up until I scream
Yes he puts my best friend in the bin
But you know I would'nt change it
I wouldn't swap for anything
He's there for me when I need him
He held me through my first heartache
He's never left me, never hurt me
Never laughed at my mistakes
He's the only man that I would trust with my life
The only man I can rely on to love me no matter what
And that is worth more than I could ever say
He's my dad and the only dad I could ever want!
Author notes
Okay so my dad's a complete nutter, he put one of first boyfriends in a hedge and regularly puts my best mate in the wheely bin. He's a screw loose, he's a Celtic supporter through and through. An AA Patrol man who'll fix anyone car but me mams just because he cant be arsed.
But you know what? He is the best dad a girl could ask for. Dont get me wrong we have arguments and sometime I get so pissed of I could scream, but he is my dad.
When it comes to family you forgive and forget.
He is the only man I know I can rely on for the rest of my life to love me. The only man who truely knows who I am inside. My dad is and always will be my hero.
A contest entry
- Fatherless Day by lively banter.
500 points, ended June 18, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
is this okaay?...
Comments
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You asked, in your verdict area, if it is ok and I say: It is not. Firstly there are so many punctuation and grammar issues, also with syntax, that I am completely dumb-founded. I could point them out here but the syntax errors throughout got me so angry that I can’t even write them all properly here. I think, and this is in all due respect, that you may want to run this poem through Microsoft word and quite possibly also run some of your sentences through google and see how other people/poets have put images together. Your rhyming scheme, however slight, is shoddy. Some here. Some there. Like sprinklings. And that is awkward. However I will say that at least the theme is not one of sadness. Which a lot of people thought this contest was mainly for. Thank you for that, at least. Please don’t make changes to this entry as the contest is being judged as of now.
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I had a hard time getting through this poem, it took multiple tries. The first few stanzas turn me off because they sound so kiddy like. Those typos were pretty painful too. They show a lack of care of your work, and you could easily spot them if you would have used spell check. The plural for sky is skies, not skys. There is no “t” at the end of the word “enough.” It’s spelled meant, not ment. It’s spelled wouldn’t not would’nt. I think your rhyming scheme works most of the time, I didn’t actually notice it until after a couple more readings. Some bits it’s too obvious and sing-songy like flies/eyes and all/fall.
Once I got used to the style, I started to appreciate this poem a little bit. I like the energy in it. It’s nice to see something positive in this contest. Everyone seems to think it’s about sad memories, but the contest really is about anything about your father. Thanks for entering something a little bit different.
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