Sea foams sliding,
across the medium
of an unsuspecting dream.
Shaped waves unmoving;
poised to fall
at the highest crest.
Endless repetition
over miles of stretches.
Unbroken rhythms,
reaching almost crescendos.
Perceptions blur
as colors mingle.
Rises and falls
always of the same.
Almost breaking
at their highest crest
waves halt on
no command.
With a mind of their own,
they stopped on a cue.
Falling into a pattern
of sea foam unending.
Thus arise our dreams,
from the depth
of nothing.
A metallic ocean
from still waters.
As the sea foam
continues on;
the conductor
of this show.
Author notes
Wow.... Well I hope I did my promt justice. Thanks for the idea Marty! I hope you like it.
Well... It is what it is. Enjoy this one.
A contest entry
- PIF Sea of Dreams by Age of Rain.
2200 points, ended June 30, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best AP Poet Contest by davidbetzer.
1500 points, ended August 2, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP's Best Prewrites by lowercase prelude.
800 points, ended July 22, 2008, 75 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comment honestly please. But don't be rude. CONSTRUCTIVE CRISTISM is welcome. But don't bash me; I work hard.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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such wonderful imagery.
it brought the sea to the forefront of my mind -
Whatever you meant to convey in this poem is like a raindrop in the ocean.
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And that's supposed to mean...?
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puzzling isn't it? next time it rains, follow a specific drop as it descends from the sky, watch it hit the ocean, swim out to it and collect it before it disappears.
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As beautiful as that sounds for poetic inspiration, your comment makes little sense. That's find though. I've gotten constructive comments on this piece already. One less won't kill me.
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I'll say one more thing. If you took the time to think about it, my response would be the most constructive criticism you've received on this piece. GL
You write well for your age.
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Perhaps. However, what you gave was more of generally advice on all writing. Thank you. So I've been told.
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I like the image of sea foam sliding across a dream, the wave poised to fall, the endless repetition, rhythms, the blend of rise and fall, halting waves at their highest crest, with their own mind, yet on cue, out of nothing's depth come our dreams.
Congratulations on the HM.
Marlene -
Very discriptive, but not whacking you over the head with it. And the flow is just amazing.
Just one thing. "streches" should be "stretches". ~ This has been a PSA from your friendly neighborhood grammar cop~
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Descriptive... Sorry. Couldn't resist.
Thanks. I worked a decent amount on this ons. 
I know. I never got a chance to spell-check. I had to submit it right then or I would've lost it. Thanks for reminding me though.
Yay for Irish!
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I used to find it hilarious when someone would try to act smart and correct others' grammar, only to mispell a a word or use the wrong "their/they're/there". Now I don't find it that much funny anymore.
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I just find it ironic really.
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