I'm shattered by the silence
Which once echoed with my cries
My heart gone with you
Leaving only hiccups and sighs.
You cheating waste, of precious air,
Tearing my world to shreds
A little bit at a time
As we lay together in countless beds.
Your whispered words, now meaningless
Unsaid words scream, fear, folly, fool.
And the silence echoes soundlessly
You broke the golden rule.
Trust can never be repaired
We cannot reclaim time.
Past, present, future
I always thought that you were mine.
In the static moment between breaths
A gasp, I wake to your restless sleep
Your arms shift and gather me close,
My body awakens, and my heart starts to weep.
Author notes
Luckintheshadows
Song Title: Song To Say Goodbye
Artist: Placebo
Inspiration: I can't really pinpoint one particular part of the song...I just think that the song itself is pure poetry, and here's the link so you can check it out: http://www.lyricszoo.com/placebo/song-to-say-goodbye/ I hope it works!!!
A contest entry
- Make your music speak to me by Bean Sidhe.
600 points, ended June 21, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Feel free to be as critical (or not) as you like...
Comments
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Nicely Done!
I typically don't like my own poetry to be untitled (although I have several that are) because it tends to detract from the work as a whole - sort of an unfinished wall. Having said that, there are a couple of really strong lines:
"Unsaid words scream, fear, folly, fool." Love the alliteration here!
"In the static moment between breaths" - that moment! I know that elusive moment!
All in all, really nice job. Thanks for entering & good luck!
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this is good
it's sad, and dark(kinda)but still a really good write. good luck in the contest.
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OH ME! OH MY! ..WOW..THAT WAS FANTASTICALLY!, MAGNIFICENTLY!, ASHTONISHINGLY!, BREATH TAKINGLY! EXCECUTED!!!!!!!!
AWESOME AWESOME SONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
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