She holds us back day after day
And fakes a big, bright smile
On every word she nearly chokes
For her mouth just tastes of bile
She not ready to release us
For then they'd know she's weak
Can she not tell that she's dying?
She's nearly at her peak
She laughs and talks and carries on
Playing a happy charade
But we, her tears, her only peers,
Are the ones who know she's afraid
There's getting to be more and more of us
As the days go on and on
Just building up behind her eyes
But no, she must stay strong
Alas, our impact is too much
She can handle no more
So we race down her cheeks individually
And splash! on the cold hard floor
She's breathing hard and heaving sobs
We're all being released
She calms herself, and washes her face...
She's finally at peace.
Author notes
Option 20. This is about a girl who is suppressing her tears and trying to fake happy to prove to herself and everybody else that she is strong when all she needs is a good long cry to make everything better. There is another poem like this, http://allpoetry.com/poem/4331333 about a girl trying to cover up the fact that she is being abused, and if you liked this one, or even if you didn't like it, please, please check it out.
A contest entry
- A-Z Options, Come and See! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended June 16, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
So...how did I do?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
I can definately relate to this, as this is really how I am feeling at the moment. I'm turning off all my feelings and getting on with things, I refuse to admit that I've been heartbroken out loud, because then it makes it real.
-
-
Yeah, I feel that way all the time,
And I have this whole thing about weakness,
I just can't show it,
Or I'll just... I don't even know.
I just know that I can't show it or I feel... helpless.
-
-
WONDERFUL
This is fantastic! I love this one a lot in fact their wasn't apart of it i didn't like! Awesome job!
-
-
Thank you!
Usually there's at least ONE thing wrong with a poem,
But I'm glad you found no fault!
-
-
Fantastic
In line six it should be we'd instead of they'd since it's told from the point of view of your tears. Other then that it's flawless. I loved how you told it from the point of view of the tears. I could read your pain in it and your voice and personality was strong. The tittles perfect. I love the last line. It's so true. We hold back our tears and it hurts so much but when they fall and we're alone, it feels soo good.
-
-
Actually, I had to change line 6, I meant it to be:
"For then they'd know she's weak",
It just came out wrong.
It's so true, I am afraid to cry in front of people, because I can't show weakness, I have to be strong. But I've learned that striving to be strong is only a path to weakness.
-
-
great poem. i enjoyed reading it a lot.
great words and i liked the begining.
-
-
Thank you(:
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
