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Drifting

drifting into dreams as a storm impends the shore
like a swirling vibrant vortex leading into nevermore
to a new land i will take you whispered shadows on the wall
to a place where golden crystal raindrop waters gently fall

silence ensued
memories lingered
desires unfold
foretold

standing at the edge i looked across the great divide
as visions of a palace focused clearly from inside
still i had no way of knowing if my steps would fall in place
for the path to reach the castle fell from ground to empty space

the way is not known
it is yours alone
a charity
no clarity

just a feeling and the faith that i had chosen a good road
found me stepping into nothingness in hopes my soul was sowed
adrift for one brief instant like a feather on the breeze
now the kingdom closing fast my soul a portal to its ease

landing swiftly
gathering strength
facing the past
ever to last

at the gates i paused and looking back was not surprised to see
many others making way to find the lock to fit their key
one by one some opened up revealing passage winding through
while others turned their keys to find their keys would just not do

the worthy will endure
cheaters outcast
futures past
we amassed

some tried to force theirs in or even pick the lock
but the gates just laughed and cast them further distant from the flock
with shaking hands but steady gaze i inserted mine and turned
wished upon the peace and love my heart had gently yearned

slowly the gate opened
slowly i entered
slowly i looked around
two paths found

one way was clear before me as the cobblestone path rolled
running down a gleaming street glimmering with gold
another was just a dirt path full of rocks and holes and thorn
but at the fringes blossomed flowers as a painted spring reborn

i took that path
i stumbled and fell
i scraped my knee
oh well

others took the easy way and sought the clear traverse
still i walked the high road and chose never to reverse
at the end of this course sat a woman on the hill
her green hair trickled down a white robe woven with great skill

she is the mother
she is the earth
she is my home
still to roam

glancing to me now i saw her eyes were filled with tears
glistening in the sunlight speaking out of countless years
"earth mother why such sadness?" is all that i could say
smiling she hugged me as she sent me on my way

through the thicket
through brambles
up the side
on i ride

next i found a child skipping stones across a brook
watching as one sank below an felt the ground that shook
"am i on the right track?" was all that i could speak
then he said "keep on this path i opened up to serve the meek"

walking to the end
parting the hedges
a doorway emerges
life surges

knocking on the door i heard the footsteps closing fast
a beam of light grew brighter as it opened forth the past
images of childhood came crashing through my mind
as instances and happenstance erased the days behind

days i wanted to forget
cannot forget
will never forget
a future met

an old man now stood at the doorway and gazed into my eyes
his were warm and full of kindness and as much to my surprise
all the feelings i uncovered drifted by an i was freed
of the heavy dark endeavors and the selfishness of need

all i had wanted
all i had sought
now seemed trite
i was right

"hurry my child" he spoke and pointed to the trees
"the time is drawing nearer make great distance if you please"
"but what of all the others?" I stood to post the thought
"their destiny is theirs alone" he spoke now quite distraught

none behind me
alone i journied
wandering
wondering

into the forest i ran as creatures joined big and small
the mighty ruled the earth to death and now would face there fall
spotting a ship whose ramp I lunged as black consumed the land
where once my footsteps mapped dissipating in the sand

torrents lashed
tides swept
the world cried
safe inside

Exploring this new vessel a vast and hollow shell
in the distance I saw him as the seas began to swell
"who are you handsome stranger?" i thought as he approached
into his eyes i was lost as my destiny encroached

adrift on the plane
no destination
no thought of pain
no refrain

he simply took my hand as a smile curled his voice
"ive been waiting for you" he spoke "and for this destiny of choice"
"this world has come full circle and the time begins again"
"we are the soul survivors left to populate the den"

but what of the others?
had they not seen the signs?
no repentance?
sentence!

he took me above to where a great mast met the sky
i looked upon the world as a tear fell from my eye
for all the lands great beauty had vanished evermore
floating on the sunset as the craft searched for a shore

i wept for the many
i cared for the few
adrift in misty waters
left to me and you

Author notes

Judgement day with a Adam Eve twist

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    April 11

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. this is something else. Ditto what Wendy said.

    This should have gold next to it.



    Sorry I am out of points for clappies right now.


  • PerfectImperfection
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow... in its entirety this is just so touching - and very creative in its endeavor. Your flow is superb to a rhythmic beat of conviction and heart. You have a great tale telling way about your pen, allowing room for true depth to provoke the mind. Great write!


  • Peripatetic gold member
    October 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The poem is full of images gleaned from an artistic culture richly dependent on its pluralistic mythological and spiritual heritage.
    With the end of life on earth but a beginning for a new life on earth we see the ancient hesitancy to let loose of life as we know it, a desire for a re-incarnation rather than a crossing into a purely spiritual existence. The spiritual is acknowledged, even revealed as something greatly to be desired, but ultimately it is seen as a means rather than an end.


    • Darkwell
      October 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanxu OMG you're totally right about that. its almost like a test of faith that without this life we'll continue and like a need to leave behind a hope of keeping this life is a fear of if that were not gonna exist after it if theres reincarnation i would like to come back as a bird, but a big one like a hawk or an eagle not something that a squirrel could take


  • trekkergirl
    October 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Now I can honestly say that I really did enjoy reading this poem. I can definitely see how it has won so many deserved trophies. Great job doing that by the way. I have also to say that I love the way you wrote this poem. Using the stanza's then the little stanzas afterwards that rhyme. Great creative job here. This poem flowed very well and definitely kept my interest throughout the whole thing. I must say that I did like this very much. Thanks for entering it in my contest.

  • Poemdancer
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very well done most descriptive. I like it. I love the vividness of your words and the strength of your statements. your rhyming is very well done, not forced, and your whole poem flows and has great rhythem. I love the first few stanzas. After awhile though it does seem to drag on. Overall great job though!


  • CrystalFlower
    August 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It's quiet interesting, almost a little bit too long. Though I love the idea of it! Good luck.

    • Darkwell
      August 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanxu its way long but when i saw that pic it reminded me of the dream i had that inspired the story. im happy you liked it

  • davidwright silver member
    July 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An interesting treatment of "the road less traveled." It's a great write with one small error...the word there should be their when applied to a person. Thanks for being a contestant and happy trails


  • Luckintheshadows
    July 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ooooh, i love the tales you interweave in this poem. Really, this is an extremely clever write that filled to brimming with hope, sorrow, faith, love, persistance...sometimes the path isn't easy, but if you have enough faith it will see you through.
    Thank you so much for sharing this, and for taking the time to enter my contest,
    Luck.


  • pattyann4500
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautifully written and one of the few told in tall tale form. I enjoyed reading it very much and would like to thank you for entering it in my contest. Patricia


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    July 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The rhythm and the flow were terrific. Captivating write, something the reader gets lost in.

  • anon053641
    June 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Fabulously written!

    Okay so, while I don't think I really like this poem all this much personally, I did give it big points for rhythm and rhyme which was perhaps the best example I've read on this site. I don't much like the short line stanzas as they just echo the story and don't seem to add that much to it. And although i didn't take any points off and have indeed commented here the character at the end seems suspiciously godlike when considered in context (and if you ignore the repopulation thing). Naughty naughty lol. It's okay I like it when people break the rules, even if it's unintentional. And some fabulous imagery in here as well.

    Very well done


  • Lyrical Rain
    June 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    For some reason I loved the rhythm of this poem. It was almost like a little chant. I think you did an excellent job here. Good luck in my contest.


  • xXFreedom-of-LoveXx
    June 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for joining the contest
    take care

1 - 15 of 15