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Good Enough Now?

Invisible violins
 played sorrows symphony
never ceasing agony's sting;

While slithering memories
   with razor sharp words
  danced on self-esteem.

To touch fragments of withered hearts
brought forth rain's fall

     to beady eyes
this was the broken record

   on minds' harp
that echoed on sunny days.

With three words
whispering in plugged ears

             "I love you"
a tormented cause.

Love was his dagger
plunging deep within innocence
      faltering on thin lines.

Eyes so keen on redemption
  fixate on broken souls
slain by his cold heart,

       could he love me

when I'm dead?

Author notes

free verse

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • penman gold member
    June 16, 2008

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    excellent

    such a powerful and gut wrenching poem. Truly hits hard with intensity. I hope sharing ease the pain to some degree.


  • Weltt
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This had such a wonderfully flowing rhythm to it. Your subtle rhyme and sharp eyes towards poetic device always amaze me.

  • Flying Phoenix
    June 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is the first poem of yours that I have read. It was an emotional poem. It's sad. Well written and the flow is good. I like the repetition of the music theme in the piece.


  • xXDarkChildXx
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    that was excellent... I loved it. I am glad I read this one first out of all of your poems.. you did an amazing job... better then me at times lol okay.. all the times... great job... hope to see more from you later...


  • Lady Australis silver member
    June 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    aww sis
    huggles
    i love you this is really sad
    but really well done
    \i love you


  • Volfeng
    June 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    excellent piece here, very nice...


  • vampirebloodlust
    June 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow...

    I was blown away by this piece Luna, you did an outstanding job and i could never cease to applaude you for this magnificent write. Good luck in the contest chik... wish you could see how amazing you really are at this. Amazing job, keep it up.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    June 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So powerful Stephanie...I love you baby girl.


    Love and peace always,
    mj.


  • Number 13
    June 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awe.

    Wow, you're amazing this is sad.
    I love the imagery, and especially this stanza

    "While slithering memories
    with razor sharp words
    danced on self-esteem."


  • XxunBeautifulxX
    June 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is AMAZING!!! I love it...."Could he love me when I'm dead?" truly amazing good luck in the contest!

1 - 12 of 12