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Gilt Written - after Shel Silverstein - Snowball

gold_gobletsm.jpg Gold goblet image by scarlettdarlin 

 

I prayed myself a_trophy
as golden as could be,
so Vivian, Sue, Sophie,
on AP poetry
could [g]ape at gilt reflection,
praise find for rhyme ahead,
ignoring recollection
mind's guilt ridden instead.

 

Winged trophy I would merit,
make Pegasus so proud,
hear nightingale and ferret
recite my rants aloud.
Alas, verse earns no pennies,
points can't be traded in
for sense, cents, spinning Jennies,
lest stanzas' stall begin...
  
I'll seek through silver second
sweet consolation prize,
feat which at least is reckoned
worth more than Styx hiss sighs.
Perhaps Judge tender-hearted
shall honour my request
if not, I'd best get started
on bronze song jest in_quest.

 

Ingesting judgements hasty
my tasty morsels may
sell more than punning pastry,
internal interplay
perhaps bright bronze write earns me,
if not I'll add, ahem !
my Muse, pray never spurn me,
bestowing just H.M. !

 

 

Author notes

Snowball

I made myself a snowball,
As perfect as could be.
I thought I'd keep it as a pet
And let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas
And a pillow for it's head.
Then last night it ran away,
But first, it wet the bed."

Shel Silverstein

pic goblet http://media.photobucket.com/image/goblet/scarlettdarlin/gold_gobletsm.jpg?o=242

[g]ape gape and or ape
a_trophy, read both atrophy and a trophy
in_quest read both inquest and in quest

In a list

A contest entry

Courtesy welcome and extended [Reward: double points]

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 28 of 28
  • Woodstock
    August 28

    Edit | Reply

    heheh

    He would be proud. I enjoyed it quite thoroughly, and that snowball poem is one the makes me as happy as can be.

    . Rewarded 4


  • nevadapoet gold member
    August 18
    Edit | Reply
    a Gold winner in my eyes...but who am I...I'm just me.
    Nevadapoet

  • Justusdreams
    August 18

    Edit | Reply
    Funny, hope it's supposed to be. Yet, very well rhymed. It didn't sound forced and seems like you had a smile on your face as you were writing it. The best thing about poems like that is it puts a smile on others faces too. I love Silverstein, you served her well.

    . Rewarded 6


  • KitCatMnM
    August 18

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is absolutely adorable, and your unwavering attention to rhyme is most definitely commendable. It made me smile a lot, and I'm sure most of us can empathize.
    The only thing is, I couldn't find a steady meter - and for me, at least, rhyme is useless without meter (Take "The Raven," for example, or your "Snowball" inspiration poem)
    Definitely a clever idea, and well put!

  • Lost Vampyre Angel Greeters member
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    well done on the gold hun, this is a really well penned poem, i like it alot, your rhyme is very complex yet extremely well flowed, it didnt break up in certain places either whcih is always a plus you know
    this is a wonderful poem and a very light read it flows gently, all my love, best of luck in the contest,
    kitty xxx

  • MoonsShadow gold member
    July 19

    Edit | Reply

    lol cute

    I too at times think that the awards weigh less then some poems,but hey! I grade my contests by the way I read and like them, if I don't like em I comment and go on ,AS I feel the poet has their own style , so i do not judge the poet themselves, just the write? lol nice piece to any host/hostess...as it does go by the way side...

    . Rewarded 6

  • albymyheart gold member
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely poem on the thoughts of winning trophies here. I'm not sure how the Author's notes apply, but it is a darling little poem...alby


  • Sprite silver member
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    A very well crafted poem and suits the parameters of the contest. I especially like the "nightingale and ferret" line. Whimsical as his poetry is. Good luck. ~ Joyce

  • rbruce gold member
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful poem with rhythm rhyme and flow excellent. Well worth a gold. Pity the poet doesn't get paid for such lovely work.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Harlequin Bunny
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    hahaha this is definately not what I expected when I saw the title to this poem! I was intrigued, because I adore Shel Silverstein (I grew up to his poems, and my kids are growing up to them, too) .. This is a really good "copy" of his style, you have the rhythm down perfectly .. and it's a perfect AllPoetry poem! Good luck in the contest!

  • DeGraw
    June 17
    Edit | Reply

    Very Lyrical

    I enjoyed the swing of the rhythm.


  • Dishy
    June 15
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    I enjoyed this and I hope you get your trophy

  • Trafalger679Curious silver member
    June 15

    Edit | Reply

    Superb

    A very fine write, indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. I really got a chuckle out of this one and the statement in your authors comment box.
  • Topnotchsy
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    Well written. Entertaining and witty!! The rhyming was great, the poem flowed well.

    A fan of Shel Silverstein myself (who isn't,) this is a great write that mirrors the flow of one of Shel's best written, easiest to read poems.

    Nice job!!

    . Rewarded 4


  • Lily otv
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    There should be no consolation prize for this gilt written humorous poem. You always provide a tasty morsel, or 1500, to chew over so there is something to delight everyones taste buds if they take the time to read the menu. This portion tickles the pallette like a good champagne

    . Rewarded 6


  • Faithbound gold member
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    This is cute. I had to click it when I saw Shel Silverstein. Love him. One of my favs by him is the one where the kid don't want to go to school and realizes it is Saturday...lol.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Rovingone gold member
    June 14

    Edit | Reply
    Say, I remember a song like this, by Dr. Hook, about getting their picture on the cover of the Rolling Stone. It worked for them. Maybe you've achieved the same end. Really humorous and excellently written. I liked it.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Cannonsfire silver member
    June 14
    Edit | Reply
    And who said Silverstein was the best at it...maybe he should read you! lol Love, C


  • chedli
    June 14
    Edit | Reply
    that was really cute. Makes you wanna laugh


  • Lost Vampyre Angel Greeters member
    June 13
    Edit | Reply
    haha this is a really good poem,
    its structure and sheer brilliance of the poem,
    radiates of the page, never stop writing!
    my favourite part of the poem is:

    I'll seek through silver second

    sweet consolation prize,

    feat which at least is reckoned

    worth more than Styxs hiss sighs.

    Perhaps Judge tender-hearted

    shall honour my request

    if not, I'd best get started

    on bronze song jest in_quest

    its just really amazingly well rhymed,
    all my love,
    kitty xxx

  • Wolf Run0
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    This re-comment will be pretty much the same as pre-revision:
    Still amazing, still makes me smile. I REALLY like this piece!
    Three more clappers for you, sir!
  • qrist
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    its true. poets dont get the recognition they deserve as artists. they dont just have a machine making ideas for them.however, i am quite amused by the way its o
  • sophonax
    June 11
    Edit | Reply

    awesome

    Awesome wordplay, the only intelligent example I've seen on this site.

  • TheRose
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    I only have praise for this piece, brilliant rhyming excellently styled to a particular outcome - I like good satire!

    . Rewarded 4


  • Avatar of Innocence
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    Oh dear! Are you the incarnate of our dear Ogden Nash? This was simply brilliant! I have nothing but respect for this awe-inspiring, cheeky (and surprisingly decent) satire! Good Job YOU!

    . Rewarded 4


  • Wolf Run0
    June 9
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. This is so... Well, I laughed at the end of this. Hard. (Quietly because I was in a library, but I LAUGHED.)
    Very nice write; stunning and the rhyme is lovely and everything. Instant hit with me, I really can't critique it too much. Some poems hit me where I can't say a thing but I dither on anyway.
    This is one of those poems.
    Thanks SO much for the contest entry, and best of luck!
    -Vivian

    . Rewarded 8


  • Night Hope gold member
    June 7

    Edit | Reply
    "Alas, verse earns no pennies,
    points can't be traded in
    for sense, cents, spinning Jennies,
    so stanzas shall begin..."

    I have often recited Robert Graves' wonderful quotation in this regard: "There is no money in poetry. Then again, there is no poetry in money, either." You deserve platinum at every turn, my Friend. Homage, dear Scribe. Wanda

    . Rewarded 6

1 - 28 of 28