Like fruitless wanderers,
mall walkers slap their feet
in a rhythm
that goes nowhere.
Only round and round
past mega-bucks sales;
pet shop puppy farm reject dogs,
a merry-go-round for elderly exercisers.
Fitness for arthritic window shoppers.
Fashion pants do beckon,
'come forth and sally,
ye nomads of the modern world.'
A contest entry
- Enter Whatever. by OurxBeginning.
300 points, ended June 7, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1705 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I like this a lot. The images of these aimless wanderers made me think of teenagers in my home town, how they used to drive up and down Main Street on a Saturday night, down to the Dairy Queen and back.
It's a good comment on our materialistic society. Instead of seeking out a beautiful park, where they can be in nature or at least among flowers and dogs being walked, these people choose the mall.
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you were bored when you wrote this lol.
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you've captured it perfectly: the sad drumbeat of consumerism tapped out by retail robots on the concrete floors of its glitzy temples.
good writing... -
Being a 'mall walker' myself ~ I loved this write. Not to mention the grammar style used is enjoyed! EXCELLENT WRITE! Best of luck to you... It truly deserves recognition!
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Meloncoly
Your peice has the tone of someone sitting back watching the world go by, even if just in circles. Wanderers of concrete worlds, surrounded by promises of happiness...half price peace of mind. Your last three lines made me chuckel. Perfect ending, Smiles.
Terrific write,
KoS
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great stuff
You could be talking about me,I go to the mall on sundays just for something to do.
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Hm, I've never read a poem about mall walking, lol. Interesting and creative. I liked how you described the scene, and made it so visible. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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