This closet holds pieces of
my broken promises.
Dreams once alive, of living in a Paradise
But I never got to know them.
Now full of dust, left by my own regrets,
full of webs spun from lies.
Buried in the stench of my own wrongs
are my dreams of Paradise.
Locked away with my youth, closed
behind the Paradise Dream Closet.
Author notes
Prompt:
# 2 Dreams In Paradise Closets
A contest entry
- Pif PROMPT CONTEST by penman.
750 points, ended June 8, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Very relative,
It is human nature to foreshadow the past and mutate the providence of God. Many times, I sit here and ponder these ideals of what my life once was. The thing is that at times emotion stricken delusion and I turn the past into so much more that it was. This piece should strike at your audience and dwell within the depths of their minds. I really like the work I’ve read
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An interesting look at what could have been, but was abandoned for whatever reason, left to decay in the shadows of your past emotions. It's when you can write like this, that you realise you've just stepped forward and took brush in hand and began to sweep the past away. Fantastic piece, very thoughtful to think on. well done.
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IT's really good. Great piece of writing.
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Congratulations on your H.M. once again a very feeling poem leaving one with the imagery at perhaps feeling the same.
Kudos to you.
Blessings
Frozentearz -
Interesting take on the prompt. The thing I see here is not in the putting dreams of paradise aside, but being satisfied to wait for things to happen. Nothing happens without a cause. It is the law of inertia. Any thing we lay at rest will stay at rest until acted upon by something. Since the only thing that can act upon them is us, unless we do, nothing ever happens.
How'd I do? Is that what you were going for? Have some bunnies.
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