Sun sets on regrets
blood red sky dying
Dark as my heart
missing daddy...
Sunrise lifting burdens
Flaxen is the sky
Comfort in knowing
Memories keeping
daddy alive...
In a list
A contest entry
- Show me your current emotion by Lady Michaella.
392 points, ended July 13, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Violation of rules in line 3. Do not reply to this message please! Thanks!
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I like it, I like it, I like it. Love the picture too.
As their souls are forgotten by the rest of the world, they remain alive in ours.
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beautiful and short thanks for entering
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wonderful work here. love how you give such contrasting ideas and emotions in one piece, and leaves he reader wanting more. powerful piece here. great work!
-checkmate
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oooo
This is a sad poem but a sad one nonetheless. I could relate pretty well and in the end, we should be glad we atleast have the memories.
The imagery was good and it all led to an amazing end. congrats on the bronze and good luck!!
transit!
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aww!
this was short, yet it said so much! the story you told here is interesting, liked it very much! I like the simplicity here, yet your words were deep! keep penning, thansk for the entry, much luck!
~beauty of silence
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this is a good poem i love the story that you tell here! I think it could be strengthened with less cliche sayings like: "blood red sky" and "dark as my heart" however the touching story is really beautiful.
i really enjoyed reading this and thank you for your entry
Em -
Although this is short, it is telling a story and you are direct and straight forward in your feelings. I think this definitely has potential but I would not drop anchor here. Rather well, just the same.
Good luck in the contest.
~MotherMachineGunn~ -
Thanks for entering! This poem shows a lot of emotion, I liked it, It makes me sad to know that story, but in a way happy that nature keeps him alive.
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lovely
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Aww.. kinda sad made me
its very well written and i liked it alot. thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck.
..<3..
Shelly -
Oh wow
this is beautiful. I love the style, it is unique. You paint a lovely painful picture here. It is very nice. -
Tears in my eyes
Lost my Dad in November, how close you made me feel to him again...as always...never gone...never will
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wow
i love the imagery .. and all of the symbolism in this.. nice work.
and thanks for the comments. -
Aww.. I love how the sun reflects the feelings.. setting on regrets, and sunrise lifting burdens...
Really well done!!
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Wow!
So much in so little...I don't think I could do that. Is he in the military overseas, may I ask, or has he passed on? The intonation of the poem on this is unclear; but its definitely sad. I remember my dad being gone a lot, overseas on contract engineering jobs on oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico, or at Point Barrow in Alaska, or in the UAE in the middle east. This poem brings to mind so many memories...
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Not my style but I felt this way tonight
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