How inventive are they,
My aspects of self-manifestation.
Yet, how conventional I remain,
through myriad evolutions
the concept of time appears,
to the detriment of rational existence.
Sacrifice: curiosity and doubt
to impede awareness of ultimate mortality!
Few shall.
Though the reward be
moment to moment bliss.
Usually comes the knowledge
then the fear,denial,greed,
corruption,madness and...enrichment.
Enrichment,
a consequence worthy
of such suffering,
always the price.
It's sole purpose.
Still, it needn't be,
choice is ordained.
The cycle renews itself,
wth a slight twist.
A hint perhaps,
a symbolic warning,
a snake,a name,a tree
yet to be?
In which direction shall I grow?
Author notes
This my view of the intent of creation. One I can live with, but not well without.
A contest entry
- creation by james119.
600 points, ended June 20, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
suggestions on rhythm, word choice,allusion,anyway to improve.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Enrichment,
a consequence worthy
of such suffering,
always the price.
It's sole purpose.
Some good deep thinking in here. This feels like a dark and logical write. Both of which make it the supurb piece that it is.
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Seems to depict what has happened to man since the creation. Good question posed at the end of the piece. Probably the best line of the entire piece is the final question. Brings the whole thing into harmony.
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Thanks for your comment melphleg.
If its not too personal a question; what kind of leg is a melph-leg. Einstine said, God does not play dice, however, in inventing quantum mechanics we have ascertained that indeed he does. Hence the final question. I've also tweaked the next to the last stanza to encompass knowledge of the double helix and its ordained role in devine chance. I can only infer from the evidance of existence that god just loves to gamble and game.
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Interesting write
the creator manifested as the creation
good question at the end:
" In which direction shall I grow? "
thanks for entering -
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Thanks for your on the money again comments, James119.
Enstine said, "God does not play dice", however, in inventing quantum mechanice we have ascertained that,indeed, he does.
Hence, the final question. In order to reinerate this statment, I've tweaked the next to the last stanze to encompass the knowledge of the double helix and it's ordained role in divine chance by adding the line, "with a slight twist". I can only infer from the evidence of existence, and in my exceeding limited capacity to understand "why", that God just loves to gamble and game.
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The title gives the reader the viewpoint of the narrator without which this musing is confusing.
I found too much punctuation and the lines too short, making my reading abrupt and breaking up the ideas.
Do you mean detriment or determent? I did not understand that part.
I agree with your statement of the meaning of suffering and the aim of the universe. There is plenty of meat here for a poem or a dozen. Good luck!
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Thank you so much for the sage advice. I've taken it
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good
This is saying a lot in a few words.
It cannot get any better.
thank you for sharing with us.
Pls visit some of my works.
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