the ways you give
your love the way
it is received
washes
clean throughout my centre,
my heart...
place of:
innermost tears,
hope, joy, laugh, shout
and 'all scream out from'- left and gone.
Reception of inspiration,
reception of you,
of breath.
You are here
in my innermost place.
I feel you as you move me,
I live in You as though you are me.
you are mine for me
as you give yourself
and I feel such
moving
love
for
yu'
I will not jump
pounce from small fears grasp
on my idea of 'yu', to hold 'you' tight...
No!
It is
Yu I
desire
You that
are mine, a
pitiful substitute
has no allure for me.
All will be good for us
we will ask for
nothing
else
whilst
demanding everything!
in and with, open hearts to receive.
Love claims its own right
not you or I
We are the love that can claim.
I have no right
you and I have mistaken
it is We who shall determine
it is We who are such treasure
and it is we who will wear smiles on our face
as we dance in the largeness of Beauty.
Author notes
The capitalisation's are a way of addressing the different ways in which we hold the 'you' that we love. In this case as 'Truth' and 'Woman' as its most beautiful face. For me they are integral to the poem... perhaps some may be changed, just as the way our 'holding' is dynamic in its changing aspects.
In a list
A contest entry
- but she is beautiful... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended June 16, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Welcome any sincere response and critique
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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The momments of love are always very memoriable oneS..and poets are always sketching those meoments with wonderful poetry..well done..
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wooooow!!!!
its an honour to have read such master piece...the emotions the feelings the thoughts so great! this poem took me in and guided me to everyline ....gave me the feeling of joy! didnt want those feelings to end.
for a dear writer!
juliet
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Cheers! and thank yu!
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This is beautiful
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I just love this poem of yours Sol and I keep coming back to it..everytime I read more into it..Amazing..I think that is what poetry is for..
Ruby -
Hmm..I can see the prompt is designed with so much unique scenario bringing a kind of intriguing approach as well...Thanks for sharing it...My friend..
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Thank you for the 'honour' my friend.
Again, I much enjoyed the benefit of another of your contests.
Sol
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This is a fantastic write Sol, so profound and so beautiful, I am as ever inspired by your talent.
Each reader will be able to relate to this in their own unique way as they are invited into a deeper understanding of their relationships, not to mention their own self.
Have read this piece a number of times now and it keeps drawing me back.
Excellent form too...
All the best in the contest!
Sam -
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Thank you so much
for your very generous, kind and encouraging comment Sam.
Sol
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X
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No!
It is
Yu I
desire
You that
are mine, a
pitiful substitute
has no allure for me.
What a wonderful piece Sol..the connection between two souls that have no bondaries..best of luck in the contest..don't change a thing..It is perfect.
Ruby
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Thank you Ruby...
It will be interesting to see how it all appears to me tomorrow, I think.
Sol -
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Then I'll come back and check it again..
Ruby
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I really like this Sol!! It is a lovely sentiment, and one you've expressed well...I think I followed your capitals pretty well, what is the significance of the word, Yu? Is that also in another language?
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Heh', 'Yu'- my own invented language
There is only 'One Reality', which has infinite different faces.
'Yu' is intended to open the question of what we think we mean when we say 'you'. Many seem to rarely think of it, as if they know what they are saying, particularly in close relationships.
Do we really know who we are in reality? Are we really aware of who others are when we say, "Hey you"?
For me, the whole love affair is about coming to know the 'One' you love, with your self not aside from that 'One', because you are not aside, you are none-other than that same reality. So, it is the same as coming to know yourself as you are and not as you think you are. For me the prompt of the contest points at this mystery, though some may disagree.
_______________________
'Yu' here, is that One's faces of : I, me, my, you, us, we and the dynamics between individual lover and beloved- objectified in the one loved which would usually be a person BUT, as this same mystery, not as who we merely think they are.
'You' addresses the One Reality/God/Truth which includes the same and all possibilities but isn't dependent on them.
'you' is the individual loved one, a person.
'I' should most probably be made lower case 'i' because that's 'me' who again is none-other than the 'One' in reality, because there isn't another.
'we' is both myself (me) and my person loved, together.
'We' is all as that original 'One' including its multiple appearances.
Here is my best attempt at explanation, sorry if long winded.
Thanks for your question, magic
Sol
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a good piece of poetry which flows smoothly, i was a little distracted with the capitalisations but i let that slide, a smiling poem.
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Thanks,
The capitalisation could perhaps be done better, I'm not sure, but they are integral to the idea trying to be expressed. Along with the use of 'Yu' the whole thing is to do with the way we hold what we love and our ways of determining on that, be it a woman, man or God... always it is Beauty.
Thanks for your honest comment, much appreciated.
Sol
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Excellent poetry Sol. I'm impressed. You display such talent in capturing ideas and images concerning actual, real beauty. It's so refreshing to read:
I have no right
you and I have mistaken
it is We who shall determine
amazing. There is very little to be learned as I, but as We, as We learning is possible.
Like needing a mirror to see one's self, eh? Just what I took away. Great work again.
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The mirror... Yes!
Such a polished one, it seems you are my friend.
Thank you so much.
Sol
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Love claims its own right
not you or I
We are the love that can claim.
I have no right
you and I have mistaken
it is We who shall determine
it is We who are such treasure
and it is We who will wear smiles
on our face,
as we dance in the largeness
which is our very own place.
that is a whole poem on it's own... you could cut that... and save it...
as it ends much tighter further up....
although, i did swoon a little for this one.. and was slightly jealous of her!!! but she's worth it
this is a whole new side of you at the moment, mr lubba lubba man
smooth operator
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slightly jealous of her, but she's worth it. lmao Gilly.
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