Her eyes will never be opened again
Her lips will never part to speak again
Her hands will never be warm again
Her soul will never be alive again
Society's dark corset
Constricts her
Corrupts her
Coaxes her
It stole her breath
& she free falls into
A sweet surrender
Somewhere she can
Finally belong
Author notes
PICTURE PROMPT
A contest entry
- 216th Contest by Tarja.
450 points, ended June 13, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Picture Quickie by piccola.
400 points, ended November 11, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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and the last line sums it all up. wonderfully done!
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Society's dark corset - wow! what an original metaphor, I really like the way you've structured this. I'm not always a fan of repetition but here it's effective and works. Nice use of sibilance in the final stanza too and I do like the alliteration of 'constricts/corrupts/coaxes. Thanks for making me think and go 'wow, wish I'd thought of that image!'
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Wonderful write...Thanks and best of luck!
Az -
Wow!
This was absolutely great. It was brief, but said everything.
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That has great imagery! I like this. It's really interesting, and just forms a picture in the soul!
Way to go for feeling the heart of the poem!
7/10
But wait. Wasn't this in a contest by me? I thought so. Just wondering why it disappeared...
-->pia♫♪
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While I did think this could have had a little bit more emotion... there's not arguing you did a lovely job bringing the picture to life in a simple and delicate manner. I really did enjoy that middle stanza. That was very deep and powerful. Well done. Thank you so much for entering and good luck.
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