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His Beauty Like The Night

Missing image
Sorrow's melody sings,
disturbingly numb;
the soothing silver lullaby
is the only music he knows by heart.

Violin strings cut him open,
and broken chords resonate
through hallowed halls
of his empty soul.

Violent overtures scratch,
engraving ominous symphonies
into pure skin; notes bleed,
and he thinks it's his fate to suffer.

Tearing open hollow ribs,
dismembering himself alive
to feel pain, temporary reprieve
from this corpse-like shell.

Yet, I am drawn to his tragedy,
and I crave the taste of those tears;
A cry to the cutter, so pretty in pain,
and I long to be the razor, kiss it all away.

To be the tourniquet, the anesthesia,
suppressing sacred exsanguination,
irrevocably in love with anguish,
whose world bleeds his beauty like the night.
 
♥ 

Author notes

Possible artists: H.I.M. or Evanescence.

The title was my inspiration, because it fit exactly the mood I was looking for! I hope you don't mind that I used it... If you would rather I didn't, please let me know and I'll change it!

Credit goes to my friend Blair [aka Prodigious.Mirth] for the first half of line 19, as it is from one of her pieces on SW. Thought that note was already here, but I guess it deleted itself...

Artist credit: "Alizarin Crimson Jester" by Sorsck at deviant art.

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Comments

1 - 27 of 27

  • BabyBun silver member
    November 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Hi - thanks for entering my contest - I enjoyed this. Best of luck!


  • skilter
    August 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow, very well written and versed, nice job.


  • BrokenDawn
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is maybe one of the most unique pieces I've read your words and style are superb. Bravo and Good Luck!
    ~dawn♥


  • daviscth silver member
    August 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you so much for posting in our contest. I really enjoyed reading this. You did a great job with it.


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    July 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh this is so beautifully wrfitten. the meoiton and the way it is written and its inspiration. well done


  • Re-invention silver member
    July 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is a provoking piece and very compared to Evanescence indeed great job I enjoyed it a lot


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    July 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is a great piece that you
    have written here! Congratulations
    to you on taking the Gold with this
    poem. It's well deserved and I hope
    that you nail the contest that you are
    in! Thanks a lot for sharing this here!




    Jeremy0826


  • voodoo ink Greeters member
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love thew depths of sadness that the first half took me into, and then to become sympathetic for the subject, in reading the last stanzas...A true work of art here...


  • stylization
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is amazing. Fantastic imagery; I can't think of a single thing I don't like. Congrats on the well-deserved gold!


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful and expressive, I do love your choice of words and how you captured the picture in this. I especially like the line

    'engraving omnious symphonies'

    I just love the picture this gives me in my head! Nicely done, keep writing!


  • Age of Rain
    July 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The picture was not only captured, but added to. A well writ poem indeed.


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    July 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    w00t!

    How can I express this awesomeness?

    Congrats!


  • tainfinite
    July 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    taiinfinite

    this is awesome your words cast a spell for the reader congrats on the gold well done


  • Ken-Maverick
    July 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    moved, deeply moved

    you're a genius


  • Solo Wisp gold member
    July 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Has a lovely flow to the language ... paints a canvas of dark colors and vision ... like an insider's viewpoint to the interworkings of the wooden brain ... or empty chasm of the porcelain/plastic exterior.

    Also has a nice personal touch ... 'Yet, I am drawn to his tragedy ...' A desire to feel ... to be free from the emptiness felt from the sight. Beautiful dark ending as well ... awesomely vocab'ed. yess.

    Artistry such as this is brilliant.

  • lyrebird
    July 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "A cry to the cutter, so pretty in pain,
    and I long to be the razor, kiss it all away."

    Love those lines.

    I think this is more HIM-like than Evanescence.

    Beautifully written, congrats on the gold.

    -- Jojo x sinnocence


  • awannabepoet
    July 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    The naked truth

    How to resist this tempting bliss, for if one bleeds, one is alive. If blood and pain are the cure then so powerfull is the disease tha one would cut, cut deep into the minds eye.

    "To be the tourniquet, the anesthesia,
    suppressing sacred exsanguination"

    If only I could be so alive as to feel those words, hold them close as the razors edge, it seems replete as the moment is complete, take me down to a restfull sleep.

    I like it, I like it so.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh the Beautiful Dark!! This is a fantastic piece of writing that I got all wrapped up in!! Definitely had an Evanessence feel to it which I love love love!!


  • Todays Poem Box
    July 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    woooo hoooo.... Excellent writing
    You have been nominated.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    July 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm I like the emotion, I just didn't feel a real rhymn to it, still a nice piece though.


  • Denierim
    July 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That's so beautiful! I love how it flows and you definately did justice to the picture! I love dark but soft poems like this that just flow from the beginning to the end and grant you true emotions that can't get made up. I love it! ^_^


  • ultimate beluga
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow thats brilliant! so smooth it flows perfectly, and i could see HIM doing a great take of these words!
    well done on the gold, much deserved!


  • Redrusty66
    June 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great work and nice take on the title. You managed to capture the essance very well and with style and artistry that fit the tone perfectly. The flow and construction was perfect and it flowed with ease frompage to my mind. I agree HIM could do it justice, maybe The Rasmus even more as I could certainly see Lauri doing this great justice as well. Thanks for the great read.


    • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
      June 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      The Rasmus... Why didn't I think of that? I've been listening to a lot of their music lately, so this one may have been slightly influenced by, "Not Like The Other Girls", which I also quoted on my authors' page.

      Thanks for the honour of gold!


      • Redrusty66
        June 9, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Yes I'm a deep and devoted Rasmus fan. Thanks for the tip, I'll read this with a "not like the other girls" rythum. Between the frustration of waiting for their delayed new album and Courtney Love's delayed new album , both of them are making me wait a couple extra months for their latest it's about to drive me up a wall. I'm starvin.....lol

        As to the gold, it was deserved, it really did cature the moment for me.


        • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
          June 10, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Thanks again. I'm glad you found my humble scratchings to be trophy-worthy. I love your contests, and I was so upset that I missed two of them a while back This more than makes up for it


  • Prodigious.Mirth
    June 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    God you sure as hell know how to word tragedy within the art of a beautiful vocabulary~ I thought this was exquisite and sad...I loved it... it touched me and moved me... really it was quiet superb...

    Blair

1 - 27 of 27