NO LONGER……..
Grass is no longer grass
For the agitated mass
Word is no longer word
If not burn your heart
River is not anywhere
If not make you pure
Light is no longer light
When crumbling under feet
Love is no longer love
If not tickled to move
Eyes are no longer eyes
If not make you wise
Ears are no longer ears
If piercing sound brings tears
Oath is no longer oath
If broken by both
Food is no longer sweet
If embittered with hate
Earth is no longer earth
If not keep our youth
War is not at all peace
Why don’t we love and cease
A contest entry
- Trophy pickup contest!!! Prewrites most welcome by sheltered.
600 points, ended June 7, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Eyes by BabyBun.
450 points, ended June 19, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Nice, I like this. I like the message that you're sending out. I particularly like the lines "Oath is no longer oath/If broken by both." That is a great, inspired line and I think it's fab! Thanks for entering this to the contest!
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yes why?


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You are right
Why don`t we love and cease

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Interesting thoughts on how things could/should be against how they seem/are. You have covered many aspects of thought, satisfying the reader by it's richness. Well done...alby


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Really interesting entry - good luck
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The rhyme was really good for the most part but the constant repitition of the word "not" I have to say was too much.

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sage advice indeed
I hope it will reach more ears/eyes through your writing. -
Simplification often leads to happiness...


1 - 8 of 8






