Here I Am Again

Here I am again-
looking in his eyes
smiling at his smile
with butterflies inside me
thinking maybe I have done something
to bring it.
Despite my broken heart
wounded from times before-
Here I am again

Here I am again-
telling myself that he doesn’t care
that way-
that my heart is too much
that my past is too broken
that I am overwhelming.
Despite the way he makes me feel:
loved and completely safe-
Here I am again

Here I am again-
trying to live for You
each day offering my heart
to the One who made it,
but somewhere between the offer and the gift
I get sidetracked by the same
cares as yesterday.
Despite my desire to be complete
in You alone-
Here I am again

Here I am again-
seeking the same solace as before
turning to the same sins
to fill the emptiness of being without love
hoping to find some reprieve
from prison I have created.
Despite my knowledge that only You
can love me and fill me-
Here I am again