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Beneath Soft Skin

Ennead Triolet: Beneath Soft Skin




I. Needing

Does she hold in her heart, this thought
that I convey upon soft skin?
is this the love she has long sought
Does she hold in her heart, this thought?
Do these hands write out love for naught
is this just a moment of sin?
Does she hold in her heart, this thought
that I convey upon soft skin?



II. Fruitless

Her breath I try to take away
with hands that search for hidden clues
so many words I try to say
Her breath I try to take away.
I cannot let this touch betray
that her love I have feared to lose
Her breath I try to take away
with hands that search for hidden clues



III. Miles From Me

She sleeps a thousand miles from me
where these words cannot reach her heart
and though she rests here quietly
She sleeps a thousand miles from me.
And though we seldom disagree
there's something that keeps us apart
She sleeps a thousand miles from me
where these words cannot reach her heart.



IV. Yearning

In dreams, there's warmth of fond embrace
subduing hearts that cannot feel
that died within some distant place
In dreams, there's warmth of fond embrace.
For memories will not efface
the breadth of touch that still appeals
In dreams, there's warmth of fond embrace
subduing hearts that cannot feel.



V. Today

Today Neruda has nothing on me
for it's I who write the saddest of lines
For I have set the one I most love free
Today Neruda has nothing on me.
How could I allow, how could this now be
am I the lowest of all of mankind?
Today Neruda has nothing on me
for it's I who write the saddest of lines.



VI. Tonight

Tonight your eyes are flames of gold
that rage upon this barren heart
the cruelest fate of love gone cold
Tonight your eyes are flames of gold.
This night my thoughts are not consoled
by the things that keep us apart
Tonight your eyes are flames of gold
that rage upon this barren heart.



VII. Loss

I have thought today of nothing
but sensations of her soft skin
it pricks at my heart, a bee's sting
I have thought today of nothing.
There are some things worth pursuing
there are others you just can't win
I have thought today of nothing
but sensations of her soft skin.



VIII. Beneath The Skin

All those years she had been a friend
through laughs and tears and sad goodbyes.
And though I feared--this heart will mend
All those years she had been a friend.
Her loyalty she did extend
Her caring heart it did comprise
All those years she had been a friend
through laughs and tears and sad goodbyes.



IX. Regained

Today the sun, it shines once more
the wind does not cry out her name
clouds have left despondency's shore
Today the sun, it shines once more.
my thoughts again, have been restored
unlike before, I'm not the same
Today the sun, it shines once more
the wind does not cry out her name.

Author notes

(Hopefully this will read somewhat as if in a sequence;
that of a man's worrying about and finally losing the
one he loves, his fears, concerns, obsession, loss and
finally, begrudging acceptance. For me 'soft skin' is an
amalgamation of emotion, the entire gamut of love and
loss.) Either way I had fun.

Yell if the form is wrong, not that I'll fix it, but it would be nice to know.

Each line has 8 syllables, except "V. Today" where each has 10, being the middle one I was hoping it might work as a sort of poetic divider for the reader.(I was experimenting there.)

In a list

A contest entry

A Shocking Tale Of Horror!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • Melodies silver member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    I am starting my day over again with the feeling that I have been somewhere beautiful. It is a garden with every sort of lovely flower, all scents and colors and each one made me glad. Your poem is poignantly supreme.
  • Well Yem, I think this may be the most beautiful piece of poetry I have read on this site so far...not that I have read all that much...in fact other then your silly contest poetry this is the first I have read of yours...I don't know much about the different forms either so this was a new learning experience for me..and a good one I might say..You certainly did deserve the gold on this one...congratulations and tell me where you get the wonderful art work...lots of things for you...thanks for all the lessons today...art, poetry and Moxie...it's been a good day...Darlene

  • A trophy well deserved lol this is intrinsically enraptuting...add one more to your fan clublol

  • wow... this is aweosme!!! you did a great job on this!!! you definately deserved the gold!!!
    Hugs,
    beth

    • Yemassee silver member
      June 11
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! Glad to hear from you. I thought you'd left AP to chase after your guy If you broke up, I apologize for mentioning his #$@%#^& name. If you are still with him, "He's a great guy!"

      Just Yem being Yem.
  • Well, there's a reason this won gold. It was amazing.

    I've tried to master forms and what not, they aren't as easy as the seem. Congrats on pulling this off.

    I liked the breaking up of different parts to show the progression of thoughts.

    The pictures were cool too.

  • Absolutely outstanding!!!

    Congrats on the well-deserved Gold


  • MariGoes gold member
    June 9
    Edit | Reply
    This is one of your best poems. The way you made it evolve is simple wonderful. The refrains worked perfectly on each Triolet and all of them blended to form a consistent poem.
    Excellent!

    • Yemassee silver member
      June 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Enid.

      That is very kind of you, and I take your words to heart.

      See, not one negative, self-injurious comment here...and oh, I had to delete three tries before I got it this way.
  • Just wonderful how you have made the Triolets read as a chronological sequence. The yearning, the love, the missing, the hurt and finally the healing.
    I think that is how most of love 'stories' end. Some have luck and end as it began.
    The photos increased the visual of the verses, yet didn't distract a bit the eyes, the lines made the page.
    Excellent poem!

  • this is different from the the Sir Ima that I used to know, i mean the write that i had previously read...
    wow! this is....can't even describe it, though actions speaks louder than words...heck i can't even convey how awed i am by all of these

    well if you never had one bravo before...let me give you 9 more

    Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!

    and another one
    Bravo!

    reading this write i don't even know if i could come up with a triolet of my own...something as perfect as this...

    mmmm...just mesmerized...ok slap me, will ya Sir Ima
    lol


    • Yemassee silver member
      June 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. Cool, Ten bravos, a new record!

      Sir Ima is the same as always...see this is actually Yem. Sir Ima and Yem have changed names for a couple weeks...why? Umm, I haven't figured that out yet.

      Oh boy can I still slap you?


  • Melodies silver member
    June 7
    Edit | Reply
    This is absolutely gorgeous! You must have awakened this morning and felt an infusion of romantic genius. Now do NOT tell me that this poem is hugely metaphorical and refers to world hunger and and high price of fuel. Or, GADS, how you loved your last automobile.

    lol Melodies


    • Yemassee silver member
      June 7
      Edit | Reply
      Would you believe Moxie?

      Thanks! That dancing smiley face is cute, I never think to use it, or have a reason to, but it's cute.

  • MariGoes gold member
    June 6

    Edit | Reply
    This is so very well done!
    Form is perfect, subject...touching
    You have some very good rhymes too.
    All the stanzas kept the theme flowing, they blended on each other perfectly.
    Well done!!!

  • Sir Ima,
    You do love gold, do you not,
    for this enchantment rises
    to mystic art, to form accompli,
    to the span of a novel, tracing of emotion
    in the magnificent series of triolets.

    Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
    Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
    Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!

    (Note the nine!)

    M-C


    • Yemassee silver member
      June 6

      Edit | Reply
      Nine bravos! That beats my old record of...wait, I never even had one bravo before.

      Thanks!
  • I do not know about this form of poetry, but the entire piece is art to me, the pictures, the words, and most of all the heart behind the words. It's a gorgeous poem.

    Love does not know anything of distance. Unfortunately, we do...and more than just miles most of the time. But love knows it's own and always moves, never leaving us where it finds us--no names lost upon the wind, because they are etched right where they will resonate forever.

    I loved this, loved this.

    ~Karen




    • Yemassee silver member
      June 6
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! It's too melodramatic but shhhhh! maybe folk won't notice.

      A triolet just features a recurring pattern of lines, and an ennead triolet is a Yemish creation, ennead meaning 'nine' (or so they said on wikipedia, lol)

      When your writing stinks, add classy artwork to influence the reader...and now Madam Maricontesthost knows my trick, ah, she already knew it.
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