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Eclipsed lips slide downward on satin throat,

  Wane and wail,

And leave their velvet track marks.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • x--nocturnia--x
    June 12, 2008

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    fascinating... there are several reasons why this wont win.

    Poetry is art - display it such.
    Backgrounds set atmosphere, and without personalised colour, poems seem emotionless on here.
    In my opinion.

    Beautiful words, but not what I was looking for (second reason)

    Lack of title and form, in a way, also heavily impacted on the presentation. A few additional spaces above and primarily below the text add - something.

    Goodwork but this is my opinion.
    Thankyou very much for the entry I still really enjoyed the read,
    keep it up


  • HeirOfEnoch
    June 5, 2008

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    The flow of this poem reminds of satin, it flows beautiful and, the last line is a very fitting end, this is a beautiful poem