its holes are soaked in suds:
soap-attempts to clean off dishes,
cracked from being dropped
like those three chances javi gave me.
beside the sink- an hourglass:
sand falls through as bubbles
fill with outcomes and expand
until exploding like time.
on the other side of the kitchen:
regret’s refrigerator, storing
memories and grudges against myself
and a mother who never knocked
when she walked in my bedroom,
and always stalked every footprint.
god wasn’t citi’s identity theft solution:
prayers left unanswered, ignored-
as more remnants of memories
stained plates of imperfection
and made spaghetti trails
to red-sauce-thoughts about
how i became modern day cinderella man.
haunted, even sugar at the bottom of coffee cups
reminded me of fairy dust; fearing insults
holding more meaning than bundles of sticks
and cigarettes.
discovered, i rushed out of the backdoor,
abandoning my chores for a new task:
to wear masks of indifference
shielding outside opinions.
in this charade, i’ve felt snow
falling to ground like my heart,
only to be stomped on-
and every guy made various versions
of snow angels,
pretending nothing ever happened.
it’s not even suppose to blizzard in florida:
this house is not a home
when its roofless and feels like an ice-maze
with transparent walls:
i feel lost, even though i know where, who,
and what i am-
but frost has fallen over this mess,
overflowing onto counters of consequence:
every shadow, footprint, stain, regret, and sorrow
captured in one moment
when i became a sponge: frozen.
Author notes
very personal.
A contest entry
- Poems Please by Violet Moodswing.
875 points, ended June 29, 2008, 54 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - but my dad never loved me. by iverbthenoun.
1000 points, ended July 2, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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it's amazing what inspires us to write a poem. i read your comment stating that you were doing dishes when you got the metaphor idea. that's when we run for pen or keyboard
when that happens to me i usually lose the 'great idea'
you, on the other hand, obviously didn't
and it works amazingly well. i'm impressed and touched by this write.
congrats on the spotlight too
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Thank you
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FRIGGING AMAZING
your correlation between household appliances and common cleaning agents to the deterioration of the relationship is pure genius..your imagery and flow are amazing..what a phenomenal talent you have..thanx so much for sharing this one..will be bookmarked..totally blew me away..but then I am familiar with your writes..very deserving of the spotlight..and in my opinion should have taken gold..blessings..namaste..
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Stunning imagery and emotional punch you have created here, very powerful in language and themes. Congratulations on the trophies and the spotlight!
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The use of household items compared to emotions! Even tangible items have memories. Such a clever, well collected, and thought out write.
Well done and beauitfully scripted!
Keep on writing for you have lots to say, share, teach, and learn from yourself as well as others!
~Night
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Congrats on the spotlight
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Very beautiful imagery. This was penned using such interesting comparisons and description that painted such a clear image in my head. A very personal poem, but one that a lot of us can relate to in different ways. It was the title that caught my eye, and the whole poem lived up to its creativity, great write!
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While your poem does not come right out and tell us the circumstance surrounding it, it tells a story that I can grab hold of from my own frame of reference. The depth is felt. It has a feel of loneliness and experiencing the dissaproval of others. It speaks of not only wanting to be different than cookie cutter peers, but insisting on it even when trying to fit in.
I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for your entry.
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It took me forever to write back.
My computer was broken, so I missed a ton of notes.
It has been fixed for like...2 weeks now & still I am getting my bearings back to normal. lol
Thank you for the silver.
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Nice work. I like the extended kitchen metaphor that you used. My favorite part, hands-down: "on the other side of the kitchen: / regret’s refrigerator, storing / memories and grudges".
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my sweet little friend,
I am taking these words of yours very seriously and have placed them in my heart's cavern, where it is warm and cosy ... hoping that the rime will soon melt away and your joy will return soon ...
just know that there is a maa across the ocean who loves you very much, and who holds you in her thoughts and prayers ...
I'll tell a sweet lil dolphin to come your way and make you smile again ...
much love,
maa
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Thank you.
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from the opening, i smell a teen idol prompt. :]
i love the ending line & imagery. and this was really heavy poetry, which i think made it that much more emotional.
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Haha Yeah, i was inspired by the kitchen prompt.
plus,i came up with the idea as i was doing the dishes.
glad you liked it.
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you're freakin obsessed with nature!
but damn good at it.
♥
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haha thanks :]
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