you know...
i'm sittin here lookin back on what we used to have
and to be honest, it wasn't all that fun
sure, we saw fireworks in the beginning
we heard the fanfare of a new love
we made eyes at each other
and spent long nights in each others arms...
all
that
relationship
stuff
in retrospect, i do believe
that cupid did, in deed, hit his mark
however, i think the arrow was dipped in
xXx POISON xXx
after the wedding bells, we had what?
maybe 6 months of a relatively decent beginning?
i can't recall what triggered the end, but it was a
long
slow
painful
death...
words became heated
the heat made things boil over
arguments were no longer loud discussions
but rather preparations for a fight
too big and brutal for pay-per-view...
after those first destructive words
after the very first hit
something triggered inside you
something that said this is ok...
daddy treated you that way, so this is normal
but this is NOT normal
this is NOT acceptable
i know that i coped with this
by retreating into divices that allowed me to escape
i am not proud, but i didn't know what else to do
i built walls so high and thick
that not even your tongue lashings
your hair pulling
your scratches and hits...
you
won't
touch
me
any
longer...
an old song says
"every rose has it's thorn..."
that's true, but your thorn was connected to
a vine that twisted and strangled me
while the thorn ripped, stabbed, cut
deeper
and deeper...
BUT NO MORE!
when the judge signed off our relationship
i found it ironic that he looked at me
and said, "have a nice day."
with a twisted smile i thanked him ~
he said the first kind words of my new life
i truly am sorry that your childhood
was marked by periods of abuse
but please, do something about it
don't bring your past back into your future
i've trimmed off the strangling vine
with the venomous thorn that poisoned me
you can too, i believe your rose can bloom
again.
Author notes
Song Prompt: Poison "Every Rose Has It's Thorn"
The original lyrics deal with a break-up after a fight, but for personal reasons I've decided to take this a little deeper. Regardless of any award, I do hope these words help someone who reads this piece. There is a way out of abusive situations.
Side note to CyanideKisses: Because I had asked for a 2nd prompt I deleted the original prompt comment from this page so no one would be confused when reading this page.
In a list
- ♠ Bronze • next in list
- ♣ Silver • next in list
- ♦ Honorable Mention • next in list
- Abuse • next in list
A contest entry
- PIF!! by Temptation..
525 points, ended June 26, 2008, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For The Liars, The Cheaters, The LOSERS!!! by PerfectImperfection.
600 points, ended November 13, 2008, 36 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Scars Of Memories (Victims of Rape and Abuse)... by voodoo ink.
875 points, ended November 20, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Divorce... by LittleMissRevenge.
850 points, ends December 11, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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wow idk what to say to this one amazing work
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Honest, Exactly What I Was Looking For!!
Thankyou for entering my contest!..
Goodluck!!!
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This is some pretty painful stuff. So sad. I'm sorry you're marriage is this way. Thanks for entering my contest. Good luck. I'm honored to have you show your work here.
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Sad. Some pretty decent lyrics for sure. So many relationships end painfully. If we "fall" to fast without truly getting to know each other we usually end up broke. People seem too eager to have a relationship than getting aquainted. Best to you in the contest.
Sam
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very nice
thanks for the entry
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Just brilliant. What a fantastic write. You had me hooked from the first word to the very last word. I love the way this is layed out and i love the fact that your words were so true and powerful. My favourite part of all has to be 'an old song says
"every rose has it's thorn..."
that's true, but your thorn was connected to
a vine that twisted and strangled me
while the thorn ripped, stabbed, cut' I can relate t that so well and the imagery is just unbelievable.
thank you so much for entering my contest
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Wow, this was such a beautiful write, so sad but beautiful. I liked how you structured the poem it gave it a nice affect. I loved the lines :
"i've trimmed off the strangling vine
with the venomous thorn that poisoned me
you can too, i believe your rose can bloom
again" that was beautiful and painted such a incredible picture. you did a great job thank you for entering
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Nice take on the song...when I was younger we had a garage band, and we played the Hell outta that song...
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This is very touching, I'm sorry that you went through this.
I'm glad you have found someone so wonderful now.
Blessings
Rhonda
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...
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A very pained and thoughtful piece you have penned within these lines. Great use of emotion, even allowing for a the hope of a happy ending for the one who ripped your seam. Thank you for your entry!
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um. WOW! great job with the prompt... and even tho i am only 17... and very young.. i can relate to this... sadly enough... but good job, i love this! thank you so much for entering this =]
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Hi! nice write, really powerful and emotion packed! There was one mistake that I saw..... could no longer touch me, is grammaticaly incorrect, it could read - could touch me no longer - and that would be correct. just a suggestion.... thanks for taking time to enter!
Kathryn
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sorry, my bad, I meant to say it could read - could touch me ANY longer.. sorry, I think I'm half asleep! lol
kathryn
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Indeed, different sides ... much emotion and a venting, I feel. Very direct, to say the least ... At times I felt I was sidelined, viewing this battle of sorts. wow.
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Abuse...my father abused me and my sister's when we were young. Then my ex physically abused me for years then fell to my own children...never ends and the cycle continues. Very well written...~Sie
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I really enjoyed reading through this, and I believe you should leave this poem as it is. It has a lot of power in the lines as they are. I know that everybody is different and has different likes, but I really enjoyed this. It was real, it was emotional, and said so much. And thank you for sharing this and for your authors notes, I know what it is like to have an abusive partner, and it can really destroy a person who is not strong, so I am sure these words will help many. well done for this, I really enjoyed it and all the best in my contest.
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This is indeed a therapeutic write ...
and a wondrous inspiration to take the first step towards healing ... God Himself had taken souls out of bondage. We all must say NO to abuse -- in whatever form it may present itself.
A powerful poem for each and everyone, for none is untainted by abuse.
Blessed be Poet.
Myra
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