And the little girl cries into the night,
tormented screams dash throughout her small mind.
Tears falling until they finish their fight.
A happy family is no more, no light
counters the shadows, destroying her dream.
And the little girl cries into the night.
Black eyes are shown as a familiar sight
in this cold house, to where nothing is seen.
Tears falling until they finish their fight.
Her glazed eyes now take over from once bright
smiles, now turned to a slight drooping lean.
And the little girl cries into the night.
Normality is gone, although it might
one day come back, but that’s not what it seems.
Tears falling until they finish their fight.
But in the end, nothing will become right
until things return to what they had been.
And the little girl cries into the night,
tears falling until they finish their fight.
Author notes
This was my first go at a Villanelle. Took me forever to write but I think it turned out ok
A contest entry
- Rhyme - Sonnet, Villanelle, or Pantoum only. by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended July 31, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
^^ Didn't like it? The back button is up there ^^
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Turned out ok? This was awesome. I love it, so sad with such weight and the repeating of cries and tears keeps the falling idea, deeper into the depression and pain within the little girl. Excellent poem!
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This isn't bad ...
but my question is, how do tears fight? -
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Oh, it's referring too her parents as they fight all the time
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Yes, on rereading, I see what you mean.
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I loved this!! I'm a bit unsure what a Villanelle is though So if you could tell me that would be great. It's such a beautiful poem and it has deep impact on the reader and I liked how you only used two rhymes, great work
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This is amazing! I've tried writing a villanelle before, and its not really easy is it? But you pulled this off really well, the rhyme in so many pieces I've read seems forced but this isn't. Well done
♥ Jojo
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Awww thanks my awesome pet DIABOLICAL JOJO ^^
No,it's not easy but they turn out pretty awesome when you get to the end of them!!
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