shitting lies upon the fantasy
a lump in the throat of destiny
the black hole window of my soul
a singularity, once was whole
my mangled mind-scape, wreckage pie
a bloated carcass, puking lies
my vivid dream-scape fades to black
a one way trip, no coming back
Author notes
ouch!
In a list
A contest entry
- I must be insane. PREWRITES! by borrowing.moonlight.
720 points, ended July 30, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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wow thats intense. thanks for the entry.
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kool!
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Excellent
For this I have a poem for you , let me know if you want it. Excellent
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any poem you ever want to send...
i want
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omg how oh how did I miss this, cmmon you wre hidin it from me werent you lol
The black hole window of my soul
A singularity once was whole
Mary Joseph and Jesus, for once I am seriously speechless, actually I feel as if you reached into my soul, and wrung it out
This is possibly the most soul stirring thing I have ever ever read of yours
I never do technicalities with you, they seem futile, but the language here is completely delicious,just makes me numb, and then tingle
It has such a desolate feel to it, just makes me ache
This is just , well beautiful, but that seems like a poor word choice,
Its just completely moving, reaches bits of me that most poems don't
you shine wih this write, big style
T
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Nice..... gross... raw.... excellent.
Vividly gruesome, a dark picture of a tortured inner landscape.
If you return this comment, I recommend my latest.
It is similar to this write in tone.
Good job.
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yes..there is no coming back dear..you spoke the universal lines here capturing the truth in a wonderful poetry..thanks..
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Sorry life
Has left one feeling so low. Look up see the light and find a new way to go...mac
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The imagery here is amazing, and it speaks of your very strong emotions of sadness and pain and loss. This poem is written very well, and I enjoyed the read. Thanks for shring it. Blessings, Patty
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Sometimes imagery is all a poem has, and it makes do without meaning. The imagery forces the reader into the world of the writer, into his emotions...
Yours has both meaning and imagery, so I am in two worlds, yours, and mine, mine being the one where I interpret the write using my own experiences and feelings. This poem has added another experience to my arsenal. Thank You
Love
Sameh
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Dark
"WRECKAGE PIE".......ooh my. (Oh damn, I just ryhmed).
Yes, I love wreckage pie.
Piercing im a g es.
What you expressive here is massively personal -and intense.
Take care..
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my mangled mindscape, wreckage pie....
That line there just make me jealous....
This is suberb, really, every single line punches. Your flow is spot on. Great write.
Jamie
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ooh, teddy, the rhyme in this one is great. your words make a very hard slap to the brain!! I had to almost look away at the harshness, but i like that you did that! you always find the most bizzaro pics!
*Rianna
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bad-ass graphic...a hard hitting heavy write...beautifully dark...your imagery here is outstanding...the personification of emotion is fantastic...the last line kills me. (you know what i'd like to do, right? i don't think i have to say it) excellent work. dig this and relate all too well, sweet friend.
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