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unheld presence

 
 
 
 
 
she looks forward to being
present someday
 
to no longer hear those careful

clocks
chime through her empty

 

 
but not now
for I am not here yet
though yesterday
I was
 

 
not today
not here in this moment
in this cold hour
 
nor in this cut

 

placed first to set him

free
 
 
 
that we might end apart
more simply than this;
 
 
then cast as open cradle

to gather her in hollowed space,

in self
 
as warmth to feather

 

 

 

to await a next day come

as hawk to hand 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Author notes

1. Goethe: "Boldness has genius, power and magic. Engage, and the mind grows heated. Begin, and the work will be completed."

Edits: 5

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    June 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh wow, the images...the images........ bravo!!!!!!!


  • Ithica silver member
    June 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    How true... You'll never get anywhere without taking that first step... often it is more like a giant leap of faith but,oh well!!! hehe!! Intense!!!


  • transcendental baby gold member
    June 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I don't see sad in this at all ... more like expectation and adventure


  • StarOfDreams23
    June 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I LOVED IT!!!!


  • apples fell
    June 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Nit-pick:
    "until a next day comes to her hand
    as a hawk" - "until a next day" reads odd. Think it's the "a' in there or it could be the line format in general. Anyways, thought I'd mention it.

    The rest is reflective and I enjoyed the sad nature. There is something beautiful in the unknown. In the haunting quality that rests somewhere in-between understanding and acceptance.

    Beautifully penned kate.

    ;


    • EvilKate
      June 5, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Yah: It's the line I've edited several times and not yet resolved. It is strange, I usually end well ... and find the getting there difficult - I am pondering. The 'a' was chosen on purpose. She isn't awaiting 'THE' next day, which would be the after this, just 'the right' next day. But it still needs an edit. Ponder ponder

      • apples fell
        June 5, 2008
        Edit | Reply

        I can see how you've changed it slighty and I think it works. Like I said before it was just the way it slid into the imagery, felt stunted. Do you think it sounds alright now? I really think it is all in how we hear and see it for ourselves. Sometimes we have to edit something a few times before it feels "right". Tell me if you make anymore changes with that line as I would be more than willing to stop back and read it again. I usually read your poems a few times anyways so I might notice myself.

        ;


  • Randomly Beautiful
    June 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Love it.

1 - 8 of 8