Failing in love unusable heart
soul assaulted I'm falling apart
I walk in the rain, on a slippery road
cursing in vain the strain of hope
losing the game of place the blame
purchasing pain from merchants of shame
memories changed by guilty hands
the air is stained by sins of man
words of truth received from God
the burden of proof leaves bitter scars
freedoms flaw is wicked ways
I pray for death on rainy days
satin saints avert there eyes
forecasting days of deaths demise
fear is not to a chosen few
when the rain is gone blood is due
sadness sounds the alarm to fear
darkness falls when rain is near
A contest entry
- Contest Dalaney's Rhyme part 3 "New" by Sue Cardwell.
650 points, ended June 21, 2008, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Those Of Us Seeking Inspiration Only by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended June 30, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
WELL?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I love this, "darkness falls when rain is near" I love it, I like the spiritual aspect of it too. Thanks for your comment on my poem
Blessings,
~Michaela~
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Thank you for this interesting poem in our contest.
Where you have rhymed it has been good, but you are not consistent with your rhyme, the rhythm is good. The poem overall would be improved with a little punctuation.
Please join us in future contests, we would like to read more of your work...Sue and Jeff
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This was written very well, even without punctuation. I liked easily the rhymes flowed here. I have a different point of view toward rain, but yours was explained so beautifully.
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Well this is beautiful and very poeitally written. You are very good at rhyming well. Loved this poem very much.
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Thank you
thank you for a glowing review
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